A swollen eye, a tender heart, mixed emotions, not enough time in the day

oh, boy has there been some activity 'round this place!

'Spose I will start with the swollen eye. C's, that is. :o(

It's actually related to the tender heart too.

Yesterday morning, about 10:30AM I get a phone call while in an operating room about an hour from home, doing some work.

The words froze for a millisecond in my ears:

"Hi, Mrs. D, it's Mrs. C, the nurse from the kids school"

gulp.

"everything's fine .... C is in here telling me that his eye is sore, and stinging. Can't find or see anything in there, washed it, looked at it, cleaned it. Could you talk with him on the phone?"

So, as we chat, he and I, I get a distinct impression he is just wanting to come home. Something extremely unusual, as his posse of boys always outweighs being at his house without friends. Never has he had any complaints about being at school, either ... in fact we just got a stellar report from the teacher regarding "his love of academics, and thriving success with the work he is doing. He has taken off like a rocket ship!" so this just felt odd. I asked him if there was something wrong, something he was trying to get out of, did he have a touch morning in class.

No, mom, just want to come home. Can daddy pick me up?

How about if daddy comes in to talk to you?

Yeah, that's a good idea, then he can take me home? Dunno bud, maybe just chat.

Daddy does go in minutes later. What's going on? ( several minutes into it, and a few lame reasons why later ....>

"daddy ...." then, the floodgates open wide... big crocodile tears ... " I just don't want to go home on the bus."

Daddy says, "really? you love the bus. What's happened on the bus?"

"CM ( a well-known trouble making child) has been making fun of me, calling me names. He's in second grade you know. He makes me feel really bad. I don't want to go on the bus with him anymore."

^^^I think my heart broke into a million pieces ^^^

My kid, my happy go lucky, easy going, yet, hockey playing competitive and sport-addicted kid, was at a loss with a thug of a 2nd grader, because he had hurtful things to say to him? He made fun of a kid that has been his friend in the past? My little guy was so hurt ... This cannot be .... we need to address this.

Now you've unleashed the MAMABEAR in me .... look out CM.

So, last night we discussed the options.

1) tell CM that he needs to stop, because 'that hurts my feelings'.
2) ignore him
3) move seats, and ignore him again
4) say to him "sticks and stones ..."
5) call in reinforcements (otherwise known as adults) that will end it.

C was pleased with that. He said, "I can do that. I'm a big kid .... I can tell him that, mommy!" (rock on, brother, I know you can!)

So he did. He skipped right to #2 today. CM approached him on the bus and made some weird noise directed at C, and C ignored him, and just looked at him.

Nothing more occured.

Today, anyway.

S and I discussed, and we let the Principal know, and his teacher, and of course, the nurse. They all agreed that CM, the known trouble maker will not be allowed to continue this, after this reported incident, anyway.

By our request, I have asked them to allow C to resolve this one incident. There is no need to intervene at this point, but any other incidents, no matter how minor, then CM's parents will be notified, and steps will be taken.

S and I really wanted C to be empowered, and energized that he can do this without adults running to "rescue" him at each incident. At the same time, he is aware that there are many adults in his life that feel strongly that he is to be protected, and kept safe at any cost, and we are all ready, willing and able to hear what the issues are, and work it out with him, giving him advice, and tools to handle it. I wanted him to feel comfortable asking for help when he needs it, too, though.

What a fence to be on .... but so far, for today anyway, it seems to be working. He was proud to tell me that he ignored CM on the bus, and very proud that he did it all alone - "man to man".

But I could still see the tender , broken heart beneath that tough exterior.

And mine too.

And... and - his eye is almost swollen shut. It absolutely befuddles me .... when the nurse called, we both assumed it was just a "reason" to be there at the nurse. It appears not so.

Last night, he had some light red skin around his eye. He said it was sore, stinging. This AM, S said it was slightly puffy, but not so sore anymore. S gave him some Motrin to keep the swelling down as much as possible. This afternoon he came in from the bus puffy, and much more sore.

We went to the peds. The list was checked off.

Did you remember getting poked? no
Did you get something in your eye? no
Did you scratch your eye? no
Did something bite you? no
Does it hurt? a little
No discoloration on the whites of the eye.
No discharge.
No fever.
No nausea.

red. swollen. sore.

I don't like that. And to boot - we saw another doc in the practice. Nice guy, young dad, takes care of a few friends kids, highly rec'd. But he doesn't know C. Two days ago, Dr. McG saw C and smiled at the monkey in the room. Today, he was not a monkey, he sat laying up against me. Dr. McG would have known this was not right. Dr.K didn't. It's not his fault, I just know I'll be back again in the next day or two, and he'll be looking more deeply, and getting to the bottom, I think.

I gave him Motrin, and Benedryl per Dr. K's suggestion. That seemed to help. Took the pain away, and brightened his eyes a bit. But - I.just.hate.having.an.unresolved.issue.on.my.hands. Especially with my kids.

This will keep me awake. This will make me check on him 285 times tonight.

oiy.

Okay, and this is all compounded with the fact that my parents got an offer on their house. Our house. The house I moved into when I was 2 and moved out when I went to college. And moved in and out of, on and off through the years until I was 24.

I know it's the time. I know it's the right time. They need to move. They need to begin a new chapter.

I'm just mixed about it. I love that house. I love the memories.

It's been a busy week. It's been an emotional week.