The Golden Rule

You know it ... "do unto others as you would have others do unto you" Nice Rule. I think, and very, very appropriate for children. yes?

So, at 7 and 5.5 can you grasp that? Said just like that?

I am having a little bit of a struggle with attitude from my squirts, the last week or so. My dear old husband doesn't get the attitude from them. Who said they could snap at me? Who says they can question me?

Who?

{sigh} here's the scene:

K has a play date with a friend, I meet the mommy with K and her friend at school, picking up C and her older child at said school. I haven't seen K since 8:30AM. It's 3:02PM. She zips by, excited to continue to play, and I say "uh, hello there, girly!" She looks at me, dead in the face, and looks away. Uhm, hmmmm, I think .... oh, she must not have really *seen me*.

"HI! Girly!" (a little louder)
K turns, this time with crinkled eyebrows, and then the eye roll begins.....
"hi mom ....I heard you before."

Here's the best part - get ready : she looks away, hand on hip, and then goes on with her play, away from me.

Uh, WHAT?!

I was insulted. I couldn't help it. She's 5. Have I mentioned that? I expected this at 14, maybe 13.

Not 5.

And really, was it the end of the world. No. Was it awful, terribly fresh? No. Did I like to see it? NO. Was I insulted and shocked she ignored the Golden Rule?

Heck yes.

So we began once in the car - address it, discuss it, explain why not .... feel badly, sad, hurt. Golden Rule. Remember?

Later, at home, C is asking about wearing shorts tomorrow. I say, as I have been saying for the last two weeks, "no, C, it's going to be very cold again tomorrow ... not quite shorts weather"( uhm, it's supposed to be a high of 39.) Thinking that would be reasonable to my always-chilly-in-the-AM son, he says "SO!" (insert eye roll)

What?! WHAT?! you too?

ack.

Adress it, discuss, explain. Sad. Golden Rule. blah blah blah.

Then, bedtime comes with the two of them, and I discuss the Golden Rule (again), telling them that I will try my best too, to speak kindly, and be gentle, thinking before I speak, etc etc. (of course, taking responsibility as any mother would for teaching this horrific behavior .... ) and off they go to bed.

They don't remember. They don't think they are snapping. They don't think they have attitude. They are just flexing their muscles. Trying for control.

Excuse,me, kids .... *I* am the controlling one right now. You'll get your turn ~ later. You can choose what snack, what drink to take to school, lunch menu, clothes (within reason, of course) even, which jacket, what hat, which gloves, how to decorate your bed, breakfast food, whcih games to play after school .... but you can't have control JUST because you think it's time to have control. Or can they? Is it all changed now that they are no longer toddlers?

So here I sit. Wondering. Where I have gone wrong? What have I taught them? Is this directly related to speaking sternly to my kids when they needed to be spoken to? Did I go too far when I did? Was I nasty? Did I adhere to the Golden Rule?

"Do unto others as you would have others do unto you".

I think I need to work with this. I think we need to explore this more. There is something to that.

I can learn an awful lot from it too.

The Golden Rule.