Monday, Monday

Have you ever felt like you were looking in on your life at yourself, and you were someone new?

I had that experience today. I am one of the room moms for my little gal's (who is feeling better, a little upset tummy still, but no vomitting) Kindergarten class, and we had K registration today for incoming students. I was asked to be there for the event, and greet/socialize to make the new moms and dads feel welcome to the school.

As I stood there, I was "lifted up" and looked down and myself, and my friends that were there. I was in the middle of recalling me there as a new mom with C, and then with K the next year, and for some odd reason, I was looking in on that as an outsider. As if it was happening to someone else, and I didn't live it. It was familiar, but not closely. It wasn't a long period of time that passed, but it was long enough for me to think I was dreaming the whole thing. It was surreal.

I cannot grasp the fact that my kids are now another year older. 1st grade? 2nd grade? What happened?

I was reading a freinds blog and she was commenting on the fact that she has turned a pivotal corner, and has the "right to enjoy being a mum". Hmmm ... is that an amazing statement? She watched a show, and learned that it is a right to do just that - find joy with being a mum. I so agree. I always have, and truthfully, pride myself in the fact that I wholeheartedly jump into motherhood - I think I was destined to be where I am right now. But enjoying it of late has been challenging. The have to's, the need to's, the sibling stress, the growing family stresses, the busy schedules.... on and on. It's not the kids I don't enjoy, it's the superfluous stuff that has attached itself to the weight of the fun of it, and brought it tumbling down. I will heed that advice she has, I will. I will enjoy the title, the responsibility, the beauty, the love, the time, and the schedule. It is life after all, and we will get what we put into it.

My kids are wonderful little people. They are so fun to be around, they ooze personality. They attract people that want to be with them, they make friends easily, they are polite, they are social creatures, and they are terrific. I am proud. A pride that bursts everyday. I need to remember that, and like that friend said, appreciate when a compliment is thrown your way about how "well-behaved your kids are". Say thanks, not "heh. you should see them at home!"

K is certainly tapping into her independence, and flexing her 'tude muscles - well, darnit, I taught her that. I should revel in the fact that she listened. I need to contain the 'tude here and there, for sure, but for the most part, she is woman - hear her roar. She is proud, and loving, and tender with her brother. She is the other woman of the house here, and she takes her position seriously.

C is energetic, and fun-loving, and silly, with a spirit that is unbridled. He is un-pissoffable. He is happy to be alive, and shows it everyday. He thinks that life consists of hockey, pb&j or pb&fluff, hockey, strawberry milk, mac&cheese, hockey, baseball, basketball, hockey, reading, PlayStation and hockey. He can cross the line, and flex his muscles too, generally with me. Dang it, taught him too, I should revel in that, too.

I want to be around them, I love having them as my companions, and my kids. I love that we are a family with the inner strength to be unafraid to live. I love that we are a bonded union, one with similar goals, and aspirations. I love that together, we enjoy one another.

I need to enjoy more, though. Much more.

I don't think this is a burden. In fact, I am anxious to start. :o)

But C & S are at a Bruins Game, and K is sound asleep upstairs. So, off I am to write my goals for tomorrow and I will begin with :

Enjoy.