8

my dear k-gal,

it's hard for me to even type the words that best describe my heart right now. it is bittersweet to see yet another year move rapidly forward and bring you ever closer to the grown up version of my baby. i never thought that i was going to be lucky enough to have one, but i had two angels given to me. how was i chosen to have the honor of being your mom!? you teach me every day. you reach places in me that i can truly say it is because of your skill and gifts that find them in my soul. you make me a better person, a better mom, and truly a better wife to daddy. i love all the pieces of you. and the way they fit into the pieces of this family puzzle.

you shine like an evening star. you clear the mountain tops of the morning clouds in an instant with your smile. you bring such amazing energy to the place that you are in - wherever it is - and you glisten with the gentle, tender heart that you own. you spread your love, and your warmth to every living creature that touches your soul, and you in turn, change the world with your impact - how you change the workd! everyone and everything is better for the touch that you bring. you are magic, and beauty wrapped into a ball of red-hair and smiles. the giggles, the dancing, the singing, the joy - it's that spirit, that unbridled peace that you share willingly and lovingly.

you inspire!

thinking that you've been here for eight years gives me pause. how can it be? where has the time evaporated to? where is that rolly baby with the grin that stopped traffic? where is the wee one that watched intently as her brother merrily entertained her for hours, and hours?

your tenacity, and strong will are two things that i can surely say i've passed on to you - you are a force to be reckoned with, and one that packs a mighty result. you are stubborn, and persistent. you are charasmatic, and charming, and you are steadfast, and tireless. qualities indeed to be channeled in ways that will serve you well as you grow in this world. you will be strong, and accomplished. you will see it no other way. i've no worries about your placement as you grow. you'll always land on your feet, and find the best path. your heart will guide you here in this area, as well. and you will methodically, and cleanly make your decisions.

no regrets allowed!

but by golly, my heart does ache for the pain that comes with being a tender hearted, caring, and very open little girl. how i wish i could shelter you from the sting of lost love, or anger, or even the pain of sadness. if i could, i'd throw my blanket of love around you and tie that knot so that nothing could move in to hurt you, and nothing would make you cry - not ever. how i wish i could be the one to keep the bad guys away, forever. i'd be there to wipe every tear, and hold you close so the monsters went away. but i can't do that. i can only groom the wings that you sprouted that august morning back in 2000, and then i have to let the wings do the job they've been waiting to do. for a little while longer, though, i'll keep you close. hold you when i can - and love you with all of my heart. that, i'll do forever.

i'll let you show me the way to grow.

but i've gotta tell ya, i'd keep you eight forever if someone asked me to!

happy birthday, my sweet baby girl! may today be the beginning of a wonderful year!

i love you more today than yesterday.

and all the way to the moon and back.

three times.

xo, mommy

**(post started 8.22.08) **

shake it

up just a smidge ... check out the new colors, links, blogs, and design sites that have been catching my interest lately ..... and for a while too.

be back soon with a BIRTHDAY post! :)

a new day

and it feels like there are some clouds lifting from my head .... and my soul.

i think it may be related to the angst and fears of "new teacher/new class/new school year" kind of stuff. that and new adventure career wise for sean that started a few weeks ago.

what's really strange is this: for 9 1/2 and (gulp!) 8 years, we've been so focused and geared towards working with our resistent to transition children, and in all honesty WE too resist the transitions. well, i do. sean is likley better - he's so resilient, and embraces change with gusto. i ease in, and touch the water with one toe. once there, i'm full steam ahead, but getting there is the journey. my kids are the very same.

so, although we only tipped the toe in the water on monday, it in effect made me breathe a smidge easier. and the light began to come through the trees more brightly.

i think i'm sighing. a release, gentle sigh.

one step.

the new school year

is looking pretty good! we had the annual hot dog roast tonight, and it was a smashing success ..... don't want to jinx us, but the two teachers seemingly are wonderful! and the very best part - oh, the sheer joy! - both kids have good friends WITH them in their classes! something that was missing last year for the two of them! yay!

it's a sigh of relief to say the least ... knowing how often i had come here to vent, release, cry, and just hammer away over some of the 'transition' things that cam was going through, and the teacher from 3rd grade being at the foundation of much of that (or at least we deduced that) is with any luck, a thing of the past ... distant, and gloriously left behind past. don't get me wrong, it was a learning experience for sure, and one that i am sure we'll not soon forget (possibly revisiting as we travel down the school path ...) but it was a very tough year with a less than stellar teacher .... who has no - zip, nada, zilch - personality, and energy. she is so very, very beige.
the new one - Mrs. C - 100 times the personality, and energy level. she's 25 tops, newlywed, happy to be a teacher, comes from a lineage of teachers in her family, and has so much planned for the year, with open arms for parent helpers! cam came to life when he met her, and spoke with her. he was intrigued, and bounced away after he saw which one she was .... as he went to bed tonight, i got an extra big hug with wonderful whispers of 'i can't wait for the shcool year to begin, mom .. it's gonna be a good one!'

oh, my heart sang. he loves school. he loves to learn, and be part of a learning community. he thrives on the good things that school brings to him ~ the breadth and scope of the learning he has there, social atmosphere, the community feel, the resources they provide, the warmth and love that is there, the charged electricity of an elementary school .... he truly adores school, and for that i am most grateful. my greatest fears from last year was the possibility of his teacher zapping his enthusiasm, and he was on that path - he was walking down it, reluctantly walking down, but just the same, going .... and the principal and i talked about it, and she intervened at her level, connecting with this little boy, and ensuring his love continued. she is a terrific woman, and insightful mommy, and a fabulous 'coach' when it comes to parenting. she saved his affection of learning ... for a few more precious moments while he is still in the community he is in. love her.

and kendall's class is the *other* third grade teacher (again, insightful principal that woman is! :) and she is wonderful. she has her bestest friends in her class ~ all 6 of them! (except for one, Ben who is her fabulous and spirited friend that dances, sings, and plays everything she loves to play ... he and she spent the most time together this summer, and i am certain it's something that will continue for years to come. they were both fine about the class this year, they'll be spending some time together i am sure!) the teacher she has is more academic, with an intense amount of expectations, yet, very positive, and growth oriented. i know that she will have yet another great year .... the second half last year was a little more challenging ... her teacher left on maternity, and the sub was rather stern. quite different than the first teacher, and of course, different than first grade, and kindergarten. so, she was over the moon too!! it helps, also that she is jonesing for this friday to get here .... she turns 8 on that day and has a girlfriend party, AND a family party the very same day! :)

a great way to celebrate the start to the new year! good friends, a party or two, and the promise of positive reationships with my children and their teachers!

yahoo!!