Wednesday, August 09, 2006

life is for living

my children teach me that every day.

every day.

their spirit, their energy, their voice, their charm, their love ...... no one, not a soul that encounters them doesn't smile. I watch it. I am not shamlessly bragging. They are living life to the fullest. It is captivating.

The interesting thing is this: it can move you in ways you've not felt, and it can drive you to the edge. I mean it. I love spending time with them, adoring the spirit and the energy. And there are days that I am exhausted from the "buzz".

They rise at reasonable times - sometimes 7:30, maybe 8 AM, sometimes 8:45 AM lately (summer seems to be carefree that way) and they peek in to our room to see where we are - in bed, in the bathroom, wherever. They will head down to the family room, and typically C is up first - Sports Center goes on. K will sometimes sneak in to bed with me, and steal that all important snuggle, but she can sometimes be found with him on the couch watching, ever so intently. Trying to climb into his head, seeing what drives him. Not one single bit interested in Sports Center, but relationship building with her big bro. Not many words are heard, perhaps one or two. The morning wake-up is reasonable, and pleasant. But still, slow.

S comes down to do the breaky thing, fold some laundry, begin his morning routines with them. I listen, with one ear only to the chatter, but not hearing the words. it's their time, their moments.

I hear the laughter most often. Then the motion begins. It's as if daddy brings "it". Movement, energy, living. The house begins to live.

Feet pitter pattering, giggles, chatter, talking, requests .... life.

From the moment I descend the stairs, I realize that my time, anything that *I* need to do will come second. And I am okay with that. They are living. They are teaching me to just be.

The last year and a half has been a revelation for me. I have changed my thinking, my drive, my focus. I am NOT about the job, any job. I have no issue with taking a moment, taking a deep breath to re-evaluate what's important. It is absolutely because of them. I have been changing my thinking for 7 years 7 months and 8 days.

Because they teach me to live.

I am grateful for that. Ever so grateful.

But I still need to gain more perspective. I still need to work at it.

I hope for more:

patience
peace
gentle words
understanding
forgiveness

with these I can continue to live. To be.

1 comment:

Angela said...

Fab post, Karin. :o)

I do learn so much from my kids - sometimes the hard way, but I learn nonetheless.

In our house on the weekends, Wade and Derek are the late sleepers, and Camden is usually up first. He'll snuggle in our bed, but get impatient and I just cannot sleep late, so we get up together. What I wouldn't give to be able to sleep L A T E!