so ... a couple of things ...

First and foremost, what a great day today! I reconnected with an old friend, and her 3 terrific kids. We became friends from the online posting board that we've been part of for, oh, 8 years or so. Early on when the squirts were younger, we got together for some playdates. and enjoyed each other's company, pretty often, too. The kids really dug one another, too. You see, her three are triplets. How cool is that? Not many people get to say that they know triplets. A select few, I would guess. We are of that select crowd. :o) How neat!

They are beautiful, to put it mildly. In so many ways. Physically, and internally. Polite, friendly, fun, gifted ... the list, it goes on. The kids barely skipped a beat getting to know each other-again. I think I measured a nanosecond of time that passed when the triplets arrived where they all kind of stood around looking at B and I, and each other. Then, one of the boys grabbed a hockey stick and away they went to shoot at the net with C. It stayed that way for 4 hours.... straight. They stopped for lunch which felt like a milisecond of time, and away they went again. K and A, the only gal of the triplets played for a little bit, but being 7 along with C and her brothers, B and J, being an athlete, she preferred the active play that was going on. K hung with B and I doing crafts and coloring, and playing upstairs or elsewhere. She seemed to enjoy the playdate, too, just differently.

But really, what fun that was! I hope that we are able to do it again soon. So, B, if you're reading this .... let's be SURE to plan it! ;O) And thanks for coming over to have some fun today ... hope you did too!

And secondly, the aggravation post from yesterday .... hmmmm.....

My friend, Fransie, a brilliant woman for sure, a woman of perspective, commented on that post, and gave me the perspective that I requested. Not only did she give me pause for the moment, she helped me see some light. Thank you Fransie, I mean it. It has been on my mind all day. And I thought long and hard about the perspective that you helped me gain, and the issue at hand. Really, thank you. (((smoocha)))

No doubt, big-picture: what is the big deal with being inside the house? Really, no harm. And with the information that was given on the "history" between the neighbor and I, it did seem petty, and somewhat mundane to be irritated at such an event. Yes, it did. I agree.

So, the history part between us - well, F, my dear, you mentioned the rules thing, and if kids are expected to follow rules at homes even if the rules are different, it would be okay. {I think you said something like that, right?} Well, therein (is that a word?) lies the issue .... bigger than the first issue.

There are no rules at this house. None.

Really.

That, in a nutshell, is the gripe. And it is my gripe. My issue to sort through. My issue to consitently and repeatedly explain why we "do _____ this way at our house, and other people do things differently at their house". It is what makes the world go-round for sure. Differences are what does that. Of all the people in the world, I know that. No rules works for them, I guess. It does not for me.

I embrace physical differences, sexual preference differences, religious differences, heck even (sometimes) political differences ;o) , but expected behavior differences, and appropriate child-like behavior differences are hard for me to swallow. And children function well with rules. Period. ALL children. Not iron fist, ruling with no room for leway rules. Not mean over-the-top Hitler-type hard fast rules ... boundaries, expected behavior rules, polite and gentle rules, indoor and outdoor behavior differences rules, don't jump on the furniture, please do not eat in the living room ..... Rules.

I did mention the whole philisophical difference thing, right? Very big differences they are. Again, good people, I've known for years (far longer than the two years we have lived here ... FAR longer. Like, 22 years or so.) Just doing things differently. But not just opinion differently. Child-rearing, thought process, discipline, behavior - type differences.

So, because of all of these things, I think there was some fuel to my fire. I left some details out (and not intentionally, but don't want to paint the wrong picture - again, wonderful people, just differing philosophies. AND THAT IS OKAY. I know that.) But I need to sort through some things, and gain more comfort with explanations. F, you are so right ... they are not toddlers anymore. They (my kids) can abide by rules, and recognize that authority and adults are the boundary keepers. But what if said adult, one with whom mommy and daddy have stated is "safe" to be respected yada yada, is the adult that has no rules?

Then, well, then I have a conundrum, don't I?

{sigh} It is one of those things with this parenting thing that is forcing me to think. To re-think, and to act. I have an opportunity here. A teaching opportunity for learning, for growth, and for understanding. I can open that door and walk through it, and my kids, and we will be better for it. If I choose not to wrap my arms around it and teach, we will all lose. My neighbor, her kids, S and I, and our kids.

The aggravation is gone ... the perspective has arrived. Continuing to teach differences as a part of life. That is the take away here.

We're all just doing this parenting thing to the best of our ability. I am not judging or accusing. I will stay the course. Our course, and hope that what we teach sticks.

For what it's worth - it seems to be. :o)

Thanks, Fransie, my friend. My friend with perspective.