oooooo .... a little aggravated

Okay, I need some perspective. I need some valium too, apparently. ;o)

The morning, this morning, the first one of the winter vacation break, was going *so* well. For approximately 32 minutes. :-I was readying the K-gal for a piano lesson that had been rescheduled for today, it was an early one, so we had to shuffle slightly, and meet the 9:00AM timeframe. We were getting dressed, I had showered, she was dressing - it went down hill from there. She ramped up in pure K fashion - FAST - about the shirt she was wearing not *feeling good* so we discussed as we ususally do. It ended poorly, and the two of us were frustrated.

Then, the phone rang, the piano teacher had overslept (damn 20-something's and their sleep ;) so we had to reschedule. This was not the first time, and truthfully, I was irritated.

Then, I came downstairs to check in on C who had told me he was playing hockey out front. No where to be found. Called him, nothing. Looked accross the street in neighbor's house - same neighbor who has been asked REPEATEDLY not to have C or K in her house at 9:00 AM, especially when they have been telling me they were outside, and her kids are in the pajamas. Ugh. Again, I have to go and seek out my kid. Again, I have to ask why he is in there. (mind you, I have no problem with my kids in her house, or playing with her kids ... wonderful people, but different philosphies on parenting. I gave direction NOT to go in to her house, to stay outside, or come back to me and let me know where you are - not difficult, right? )When you're seven, and in the heat of the moment, and the friend says 'c'mon in, we've got _______ to show you!' It is next to impossible to remember those words that your mother said. I know. {sigh} When you're seven and really excited to see the kids you haven't seen in oh, a day, you can't recall the words. You just can't. oiy. I know this. But honestly, an adult to another adult, a mom to another mom. I ask for rules to be followed, for my rules to be respected, and even with that seven year old forgetfulness, in-the-moment breathing, I feel like it can be remembered if you're, oh, say 34.

I walk over accross the street, and with each step I am more aggravated. He (my son, C) opens the door, and says, but mom, Miss Tina said I could come in, and I say but I said you couldn't. Miss Tina comes to the door, and says , "I tried to call you, and you were on the phone, so I just said c'mon in, and go upstairs, the boys are up there" by now, she's laughing, not at me, but at the situation, so I say, but Tina, I don't want him in there this early, I don't want him in there when he tells me he is going to be playing outside" she says "but mine aren't outdoorsy kids, they like to play in the pj's all day, and play with their figurines, we don't mind that it's 9:00AM, we're up at 6:00 anyway" and I come back with "I know, that's fine, we're up early too, and we love to play too, but mine asked to be outside, and play out there, when they come over don't let them in, instead tell yours to meet them outside... please, he needs to listen to MY DIRECTION, and time and time again I have asked him to please NOT go in when he is asked to go in, because it is my wishes that he not do that. " She continues with the same thing she always says - "I don't mind, I really don't..." I then, turned and walked back home, visibly frusrated, and visibly NOT heard by her - she says, okay, I'll send them out.

UGH. SO not the point, sending HER kids out, I could care less if the boys even go outside EVER. I just want my kid to be forced to LISTEN to his mother, follow HER directions. Not be coerced into someone else's ideas, or what works for them "as a family" because they are up early, and like to spend time in their jammies. How is this so hard to understand as an adult??? I follow the rules. I respect other parents. I make sure kids call, and ask kids if their mother knows they are at my house. I follow their rules. I don't coerce. I play fair. And most of all, I am an adult that doesn't let the kid hear all of this chatter that is opposite of what the rules are. (C was standing *right* under Tina when she was but..but..but-ing me prior to me walking away)

I came home, angry, and frustrated. More frustrated than I had been already from the morning activities.

Then, the pain of the guilt for being an angry parent, an angry neighbor hit. I felt awful. :o(

I called her, and tried to explain yet again. I started with "I'm sorry I turned and walked away ...." and we discussed again. I tried with every ounce of my being, to get her to completely and utterly understand the requests I have. I just don't want the kids to come in because it is convenient to come in. 9:00AM is too early. Period. It's not polite. *I* don't want kids to feel like they can go into anyone's house at 9:00AM because it is convenient. If I set a rule, they should be my rules, he is my kid. I know you are kind, I know you are easy-going, and to you, letting him in is "no problem" with you. I know you're up early, and the kids enjoy playing inside. I know that C and the boys enjoy one another. I just really, reallllllly want him (and K) to understand that when they go to someone's house that our rules STILL apply. I just want that. I know all of these things, and I hear your side.

Can you hear mine????

So here's the question.

Am I being unrealistic? Am I being a royal bad neighbor? Am I just asking too much? Am I just being a pain in the a$$?

{sigh} help. I am feeling this awful pain, this thing in the pit of my tummy.

bleck.

This is the stuff that doesn't ever sit well with me. I hate conflict with those that are close to me ... be it proximity, or just in spirit.

help.