there are moments

in life that give you pause. this past week was one of those moments for my family and i.

my aunt passed away unexpectedly last monday. she took her own life. i am struggling with the concept, the actual event, and the fact that she is gone so suddenly. i've not had anything like this (suicide) since i was a small girl when my friend's dad took his own life, but i was shielded from that as a 7 year old, and never really knew the details, or anything. and it was a shock, as well as a sudden rug-out-from-under-me with my aunt. to say it mildly, this has been a week of pain. my children are struggling with this news, as my aunt's only grandson is their good friend, same age, and spent lots of time with him. their struggles are feeling as if 'this can happen to ben, this can happen to me too'. my uncle and she were divorced many many years ago, however, i had always stayed in touch. and was very close with the children, my cousins.

the memorial service was lovely, and very comforting to her children, and family. her longtime partner, bill, is really having a difficult time. unimaginable.

keep her in your thoughts today, if only for a moment. and keep bill there as well. i hope he finds some peace with this, and some comfort in knowing that she is no longer in pain.

it's been wonderful!

i always find it funny when people speak of their married lives, and lament over how 'making it' to a certain year has been challenging, or at best, shocking they got there. i have always wondered why anyone would say that about a person that they chose to spend the rest of their lives with. they pledged their heart to that person, and i for one, protect my heart and my love. often too, they created life, through love, with that person, and have children.

don't get me wrong, i don't live this disillusioned life where everyhting is roses, and sweet cheery pleasantries. sure, we've had bumps and bruises along this path, but celebrating eleven years as this man's wife, and life partner has been anything but challenging.

as i sit back and look at the time we've been together (22 years { gulp } i've known him. 13 years as a couple) i don't say things like "i can't believe we've lasted" or "how will i do another 11?!" what i find myself saying is this:

i am the lucky one
i thank my stars that someone sent me you
i am so happy that our children get to call you daddy
i am so excited for the next 111 years with you
and
i am more in love with you today than i was yesterday

happy anniversary, hon. 143 always.

xo me

witty

have you, unlike i, been previously introduced to the website mixwit? i so wish i had been told about this ages ago .....

go, quickly, and check it.

you can mix your own TAPE. yes, i said tape. you download music onto an old fashioned tape (your choice, using any search vehicle) and once you save it, the tape you created will pop up larger on your screen, and it rolls through the music as if it were playing in an old fashioned tape recorder.

i'm a little addicted. i've already got three tapes with about 200 songs, and i'm working on several more. it's great fun, and so ..... old fashioned! my kids cracked up at the tapes on the computer.

go. have fun. listen to music!

this face

it's been a while since you've seen this family member ....

he is absolutely fabulous. he turned 19 months last sunday ... still a babe. just having him in the room will make anyone smile. he is a personality unlike that of anything i've experienced. he is charming, and funny, and silly, and adoring.

and we all believe that soon, one day in the very near future, he's going to blink his eyes, and begin to answer the questions we ask him. we can all feel it.

oh, and living with an 8 year old girl will always give you plenty of pampering .... like pigtails when you need them most.

you know, for the photo shoot.

yum. yumm. yummm.

i can barely speak i am in such a blissful happy full tummy level. we have a new bakery that opened near us. in reality, coming from the bakery haven (hundreds upon hundreds of mom and pop bakery locations ALL over!) that this area is, this information isn't exactly news worthy .... on most levels. i consider myself a bread expert. ask my belly, it'll tell you the truth. (fwiw - i laughed heartily at the Atkins diet - "eliminate carbs?! you crazy?! i'll die. right there. the first day. dead.")

back to the matter at hand .... bread. this bakery is so yummy, and so different. breads, treats, peet's coffee, and delicious wholesome mixes to make world famous pancakes at your house. it's all made with whole grain flour and premium grains.

you've likely got one nearby. quick - google it, and then run there. goodness gracious. .

great harvest bread co. is the name .... and it is so true. GREAT harvest - natural products, wholesome, nutritious, and 100% whole wheat flour. i purchased the cinnamon chip bread (it was HOT when i left the store ... good heavens to betsy) and i also purchased the monastery creamed honey spread in cinnamon flavor. SO not butter. honey with a dash of flavor.

absolutely outstanding. i didn't want my piece to end, so i savored it with a wonderful cup of tea.

and i'll be savoring a second piece once the kids get off the bus, and have one with me ... just 1 hour and 50 minutes from now. ..... 49 minutes. 48 ..... :)

gorgeous

hayride enjoying. pumpkin picking. sunshine feeling. apple gathering.

butterfly watching .... mum loving.

i adore fall. i simply *heart* it.

the lift

it's been a ride ... dunno know if i mentioned, cam's been in a new hockey league. we made a decision after 7 great years with the organization that he was with since he was 2, to give him the shot with the better hockey league in the state, and region. the change has been, to say the least a learning curve. the league is terrific, and very competitive. he is in the right place. no question, the right place now.

let me back up. they pursued him for 3 years prior to us "giving in". they asked him to be part of the team and the league, and we resisted. "he's very close to his teammates, he's made a name where he is, we're loyal ...." etc. long and short, this was the best move we could have made for him. even with the learning curve that we expected. he ultimately made the decision, he wanted to give it a shot. he was excited to work harder, and be part of a much better team and league.
he had no idea how hard he'd have to work. we had no idea this change would be so tough.

for the past month and a half he's been in a place that was a very new and uncomfortable place for him. he's been tentative, and thought - FULL while skating. he hasn't been intuitive. he hasn't trusted his gut, he hasn't let his instincts take the lead (as he had for 7 years) and he's been hesitant to play the way he normally does. he's been another kid on the ice. he's been so down, and so sad.

that all changed the last two days.

he's had some meetings with coach, he's had some long and deep chats with us, and he's gotten to know himself better through time, and thoughts - alone, and with his teammates.

today though, there was a clearing. a lift.

he scored a goal. his first goal as a Capital. it was against the 2nd place team in the league, and they are ranked 5th in the age group in the country. cam's team is ranked 12th.

he was visibly lifted. i asked sean if he also saw the weight from the kids shoulders move away from him towards the ceiling of the rink. he had two of the best games that we've seen him play, and the coach was elated. you could see the weight lifted from him as well. they were winning the game, and they were playing their heart's out. it was a wonderful thing.

and the best part of the game today is that i saw the return of my guy to the ice.

thank goodness. :)

rAnDoM

thoughts and things ......

trying to get some sort of a recycling logo on my email signature stamp, and I find this one hilarious. I can't resize it, though so I don't know how I can get it on my sig.

making shepherd's pie for dinner ..... I know I've done this before and "featured it" here. But this one is Rachael Ray's (adore her!) and it's from my likely favorite cookbook of hers on days like this (yet ANOTHER rainy/dreary Sunday afternoon .... {sigh} )

the little gal and I worked together to get it done while the boys were off to (what's hopefully) Cam's final tryout for the AAU baseball team for next year (yes, you read that correctly)

(notice the jammies ... she actually changed to go to the grocery store with me, and when we returned, she changed back .... comfort a priority in this house?! yes, thankyouverymuch)

the meat. with carrots and corn. and worceshire, and beef gravy (homemade, I'll have you know. and the recipe didn't even call for homemade ... you know me, adding a step is what i do best!)

the finish line .... well, almost. gotta broil it, but timing that part for the boys arrival home. I know you're just dying for the actual recipe, but I don't actually want to type the whole thing out. no, that's not entirely true.

yes, yes it is. :)



busy week last week. relatively busy this week, but there is a really special treat of a trip to see my 3 month old niece in NY. Yay! (gotta get busy finishing the baby gifts ..... ) I have a work meeting near her house, so I am visiting she and my sil and bil. Looking very forward to it.



and my last random thought .... anyone else really shocked at the price of feeding a family these days? I went to the gorcery store, and limited my choices (mostly because I didn't need a "big shop" ... or so I thought) and the bill was just about 200.00! How does that even happen? I need to get better at coupon clipping, and watching sales.


You know, in my spare time. I need a secretary.

Hahaha, that's a good one.



Have a wonderful Sunday evening ..... and be sure to fill your belly with something yummy tonight .... and spend the night around the dinner table talking about the week that past and the fun stuff that's coming up! That's what I'm doing ..... :)