Monday ... a good, no great weekend, and St. Paddy's Day recap

whoo. that's a long title, eh?

it's monday here, monday night. hanging out, kids sweetly sleeping ... chillin' watching to 'tube with hubby. mindless wonder 'tube. deal or no deal. love it. great day, all day. smooth meeting with an account. got to the gym, after school art activity with the squirts, friends over for some fun in the snow - well, snow ball tossing and rolling in the white stuff, anyway - and then a yummy dinner with the family. no chaos, no strife. no angst.

nice.

had a super weekend. little dude won the first two playoff games. couple of assists, a goal, and a really uplifted spirit - the whole team's - after a few challenging games just prior to the two. that feels good. little gal had a great gymnastics day on saturday - roundoff backhandspring is 'coming together' according to the coach. she was beaming!

then, we had a date.

yum.

the squirts were beside themselves with glee that they got to stay overnight at mimi and poppi's for the night so sean and i could have a st patty's day celebration. yahoo! great night, great friends, and great memories!

we hit a favorite irish pub, saw several folks, lifted a few, ahem, pints and enjoyed the atmosphere. then we ventured to another venue where good friends of ours were planted, with several hundred people, and raised a few more pints ... and capped off the night with a final visit to yet another irish pub - yes, a full evening. through it all, loads of laughter, and some really great moments that are engrained in our memories. love this day each year ....

spent the day yesterday recollecting the good times, and laughter. even now, sitting next to me, he's laughing about some moments.

good stuff.

so, another week has begun, it'll be a busy one. but when you start from the gate with a simply hysterical weekend, how hard will it be?

enjoy ......

one word

so my friend in blogland Nichole, has asked that we play a game .... so here I go: you have to answer the question in one word - that's it. ONE.

Number 5

Your Current Footwear: socks
Something You're Doing Later: playing
Something You Wish You Could Do Right Now: sled
Your Age At the Time Of Your First Kiss: 14
Your Feelings About Global Warming: interested
A Sport You Wish Would Never Be Shown On Television: none (meaning: I like them all)
Something On Your Desk that Shouldn't Be: iDog
A Word To Describe The Current State of Your Sex Life: satisfying
How the Sky Looks Right Now: white
Which of Snow White's 7 Dwarfs You'd Be: Happy
Your Preferred Birthday Cake: icecream
A Magazine You Subscribe To: Child
Number of Piercings You Have: zero
Your Favorite Delivery/Takeout Item: Thai
A Game You Hate to Play: head
The Name of Your First Real-Life Crush: Adam
The Hand You Write With: right
The Hand You Wear Watches On: neither
Your Clothes Closet: packed
The Side of the Bed You Sleep On (from the on-the-bed perspective): left
A Flavor You Love: lemon
Your Car: (*sniff*) mourning
The Last Thing You Misplaced: email
Your High School Mascot: bengal
Your Wasted Talent: dancing

Number 6
Your Mood: giddy
What you're craving: Thai
Your favorite Day of the Week: Saturday
Your Mind: tired
Something that Cheers You Up: kids!
Something that Depresses You: arguing
Where Your Keys Rest at Night: cupboard
A TV Gameshow You Secretly Get Into: Deal
The Way You Like Your Eggs: easy
Your Hair: fun
The Last Thing You Ordered Online: music
The Messiest Room in Your Home Right Now: kidsroom
Your Least Favorite Month: February
The Worst Fashion Fad You Participated In: perms
How Many Times In the Night You Get Up To Pee (on average): ZIPPO
Your Journey: enjoyable
A Sound That Makes You Happy: laughing
Your First Date: movie
Something You Wish You Did More Often: played
Something You Admire: gentleness
The First Place You Go When You Get Home: kitchen
What You're Going to Do Now: snuggle

That was fun, Nichole ..... :o)

pride

i never fully understood the feeling of swelling pride until i became a mom of a child that spoke like a little man ... or a child that engaged another adult without my prompting, without my guidance, and she never faltered, or shyed away.

i never really grasped that heart-pounding, breath-taking love from the depths of my soul until i watched my child relate to another child, and give their heart over - with ease, and innocence awaiting nothing in return.

i never understood the magic that you experience as the mom of a little athlete that scores a goal to 'turn the team around, and get them moving in the right direction'.

i never felt the incredible warmth of success until i watched my little 'baby' turn a trick on the gymnastics floor that she had been practicing for endless hours.

i never ventured on this journey .... until i had a baby that became a little person.

and i know they are here only temporarily. for me to gently guide, and hold, and love, and be proud of. i know it is only a moment of time that i have with them as my babes.

but i'll always be their mom.


my heart aches for the mom of a 17 year old child that passed away in a freak skateboarding accident Tuesday near our hometown. please be sure to wear helmets.

may her pain soon be replaced with the fond memories he gave her in his short time on earth.

hugging a little more tonight.

Better ... and thanks

I am feeling better .... the burden was lifted after some really nice comments here (thanks, friends, you rock!) and a nice chat with the dear hubby, and also some really nice email chats with (his side of) the family that connects with me to get more info. Yes, they call me and email me. Perhaps that might be one of the stressors that I was feeling .... dunno, but in the end, I feel better. :o)

I only have a minute or two here - the little Kgal has given me strict orders to "update her music, please" on her (handmedown) iPod. :o)

What a great day today! I was at the kids school (a place I am truly honored allows me - really gives me an OPPORTUNITY - to be involved with my kids academic life, as well as social development) for kindergarten registration. I cannot believe it was only *moments ago* that she was in K - and only a few more *moments* that he was. hard to imagine that. But the newbies are so stinkin' cute .... and I knew so, so many as they are sibs of friends of my kids.

I really enjoy this school ... this community ... this wonderful atmosphere. I went to the lunch room to check in on the kids, and the lunch lady, came up to me, knowing who I was, and said, 'oh, your son is SUCH a great kid. He is so polite, and so easy going, he is always such a treat to see here". How about that?!

He is a cool kid, but I'm a wee bit biased. Then she says, and "your daughter is such a little helper to all the other kids .... good kids, you have".

{grins}

thank goodness that they are fun to be around, and engaging little creatures.

Much, much better day today.

So ...

where have I been?

oh, my it's been a little bit here .... {sigh}

i have so much to share, so much going on ... i needed a moment to give me pause, and i got it from a new photography blog i have been visiting. i needed to be given a breath.

...... and it suits my need right now for this posting.

check this out - copied right from that blog:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What Will Matter by: Michael Josephson - Founder of the Josephson Institute of Ethics

Ready or not, some day it will all come to an end.

There will be no more sunrises, no minutes, hours or days. All the things you collected, whether treasured or forgotten will pass to someone else.

Your wealth, fame and temporal power will shrivel to irrelevance. It will not matter what you owned or what you were owed.

Your grudges, resentments, frustrations and jealousies will finally disappear. So too, your hopes, ambitions, plans and to do lists will expire.

The wins and losses that once seemed so important will fade away.

It won't matter where you came from or what side of the tracks you lived on at the end.

It won't matter whether you were beautiful or brilliant. Even your gender and skin color will be irrelevant.

So what will matter? How will the value of your days be measured?

What will matter is not what you bought but what you built, not what you got but what you gave.

What will matter is not your success but your significance.

What will matter is not what you learned but what you taught.

What will matter is every act of integrity, compassion, courage, or sacrifice that enriched, empowered or encouraged others to emulate your example.

What will matter is not your competence but your character.

What will matter is not how many people you knew, but how many will feel a lasting loss when you're gone.

What will matter is not your memories but the memories that live in those who loved you.

What will matter is how long you will be remembered, by whom and for what.

Living a life that matters doesn't happen by accident. It's not a matter of circumstance but of choice.

Choose to live a life that matters.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

because today is the 4th day since i heard that my mil was rushed to the hospital for what appears to have been a series of "mini strokes", she has abused her body for so many years, my very first thought was 'this is the beginning of the end'.
this was exactly how my fil's last year began for him. i am confused as to my role as a wife, to my husband, through this new development.
because he has no relationship with her currently, and the realtionship prior to this non-existent one was achingly poor, at best. he has pure clarity with his relationship with her - it's me that has the issues with it. i struggle with it. i think to myself - it *is* his mother - she gave the man life several years ago.

but she has pissed hers away.

she cares nothing for my kids, seen them only once, no, actually cam twice, kendall once.

so as a mom, i am fiercely protective of them, as a funeral is immenent, and we will need to attend - i suppose. do i bridge the gap with the family, and attempt to reach out? my mom and i spoke about me doing that 4 months ago, before these latest strokes. she told me i shouldn't feel compelled to reach out. why are you feeling guilty? what have you done to sever the relationship? you married her son - her oldest child, and she is angry with you. but she never even tried to get to know me. she just didn't like me because i married him. i don't even think she knows my name. my mom then said she made her bed, she needs to lie in it.

so, that little post above was poignant for me to read today.

she hasn't chosen to matter. she doesn't matter to herself, how can she expect to matter to others?

i am sad, and confused, and fearful of the outcome.

and at the same time, determined to matter to my kids. to my husband. and to my family.

i choose that life. i want to matter.

until tomorrow .....

sing it - "Saturday ...in the park ...

i think it was the 4th of July .... "

oh, i love that song! and i am thinking of summer, here. well, spring, more like it. why, you ask, as you remember i live in the blustery-this-time-of-year new england ??!! because the windows are open - it's chilly, yes - and the birds are singing. it's march. and the weather should be decent this weekend.

and dagnabbit, that snow is just not happening. so, i've smartly left it behind. it isn't going to happen. we aren't getting snow this winter.

bummer.

we had a rain storm yesterday, same storm that his the northern section of ne, but left a foot - yes 12 INCHES of snow there, and we, well, we got flooded. literally. our pool is so full, we called our firefighter friend for the *big* pump to get some of that water out. we had puddles - well, more like ponds - all over the backyard yesterday. there were washed out streets and floods all over our city.

i was hoping for the snow so that the kids and i could go sledding together for the 2nd time this year. the first was tuesday afternoon. by the time we left the hill, there were more patches of grass on that hill than there was snow ..... wasn't exactly the "sledding kind of snowfall". it was one that had we had several snow storms prior to that, and enjoyed loads of sledding, we would have completely ignored the pathetic 2 inches that fell. but desperate times call for desperate measures ..... we *needed to sled* so we went in hopes that we'd get some good runs in before the snow was all gone. we were able to hang for about 90 minutes. not bad, but tricky keeping the snow under us as it washed away with each run.

i don't even ski. my kids snowboard, but for me to be wishing for snow, and wanting to have some winter wonderland is SO out of character for me. don't get me wrong, love the snow - always have - the beauty, the smell, the fun you can have in it. but for me now is the sheer exhilaration of watching your kids have the freedom and the delight with the journey donw that hill! it's the snowman on the front lawn, it's the paw prints from the dogs joining the family snowball fight out front. it's the pelasure that snow brings. the red cheeks, the snuggle under the blanket afterwards, the shouts of glee as they decend the hill on board, or sled.

i love to see the freedom in their faces, and feel the joy they capture. i love the excitement in their step as we march to the hill. i love the whole picture ......

so, spring brings that too. they can be outside and play and find new things, and explore, and build forts, and seek treasures, and enjoy the freedom of the outdoors for hours instead of just moments in the blustery wind of winter (when you're not sledding, the winter just seems *cold* on your face, and it's hard to play outside in that, isn't it?)

that's why i am feeling springy today. time to move forward and bring on the new stage.

so, enjoy your weekend .... and i hope for whatever you're wishing for coming your way .....