Oh, the journey

Yes, I am back ... it was a wonderful trip. Chicago is a beautiful city. Although each time I have been there, it was for business with a little bit of pleasure .... this time was no different.

We had a half day meeting Monday and were surprised with a Cubs baseball game -THAT was fun! :O) And then All day meetings Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, each filled with so much info my head is STILL spinning. We had great dinners, and plenty of cocktails ... and loads of conversation. There was such a corporate mucki-muck though, and that gets heavy. I was d.o.n.e by Thursday night. Happy to fly home Friday morning ..... right back into some stress here. {sigh}

My little K-star, the little lady of the house, is challenging me right now. She is so bossy, so attitude-y and such a demanding little pint sized version of a beotch. It's awful. But it's also everything she will be as an adult (well, okay minus the beotch, I hope ....) but it's hard. I am frustrated, and sad all at the same time. She and I are butting horns, and butting heads. I am disturbed by it. :-(

C-man has an ear infection, and was awake for pretty much the night last night in pain. He hasn't done that in YEARS. So, that was a bit of a tidal wave that hit us last night. We felt the fatigue all day today after a l-o-n-g opening day at baseball yesterday, and then a sleepless night for our 12 hour-sleep boy . ergh.

I am stressed from some other stuff, minor, but still feeling the burdon of the "stuff" just the same .... and feeling like I can't get out of my way, or even ahead lately.

I know the addage - "this too, shall pass" and it will, I know ..... I'm feeling out of sorts though. Not the even keel, move along nicely Karin that I am.

{sigh}

so, how's that for a first blog after a week away .....

*this too, shall pass*

g'night.

Spring Break week has come to a close ....

And we actually survived~ ! :o)

Really, it wasn't that hard to survive. The kids had a BALL. They were and ARE absolutely exhausted from the fun, and the activity and the friends visiting, and enjoying each other. Lots of play dates, loads of outdoor play (couldn't have asked for a better week weather-wise) and loads of energetic run around 'til you drop kind of play. I even had a ball!

Had to work a few days, but they were really great working days, as I closed a BIG order worth a few bucks, and that made the 'ole boss one happy guy. :o)

Heading to Chicago on Monday for my third phase of training, three nights, and I am looking forward to it. I don't want to be away from the kids and S, but sometimes a break is good for everyone. In addition, I am really proud of my work the last few months, so I feel confident going into the training. I am looking forward to all that I can learn as well. There will be some really talented people at the training, and some very successful comrades, so I am looking forward to seeing them too.

So, yah, here I am Friday evening. House is quiet, kids are sleeping, husband watching the Sox, and I am content. Had loads of people here for dinner, brother, sil, 2 kids, mom & dad, neighbors and their three kids. Had our first summer time dinner of burgers and dogs, and mac salad. I'm ready for it. :o) Bring on the summer. Let the kids out of school, let's play!

okay, really .... not *just* yet, they'd go nuts with this long of a break .... but I'd vote for May 31as the last day of school .... seems fair, yes?

I'll be back this weekend .... smile!

A week has gone by?

Wow, that was a fassssssssst week!

Sometimes, the days blend together for me. Sometimes, I have to stop and think about which day it *feels* like. This week, Sunday crept up on me.

{sigh} and that's a bummer, because that then means Monday is the next day. And this week, the kids are on vacation, and I am not. Each year I have said I was going to take time when they take time for spring break. For some reason, we didn't do it. I think, in the end, it's a good thing, though because I am heading out to Chicago next Monday for a few days. So, if I had taken this week off, and next week out of town, I would feel quite disconnected to work. ;-)

So, today was Easter. We had everyone here, the neighborhood egg hunt commenced at 9:41AM, and concluded at 9:54AM. :o) 10 kids, 300-350 eggs, and lots of energy, and excitement! Then we had appetizers, and lunch/dinner at 2:00. A very large, very lengthy baseball game ensued following, and that was a blast! It became 7:00PM before my eyes, and the kids were exhausted, for sure.

We also did loads of yard prep yesterday. My dear mom pulled many, many of her plants from her yard (they are selling and she wants to keep the older , sentimental plants from her dad in her family ...) and transplanted them here. Our yard is going to be gorgeous! It is SUCH a work in progress for sure, but she has such an eye for it. I am looking forward to the summer months with it all in bloom. :o)

So, alas, another Sunday evening. Some bills paid, the house is quiet, and I am ready to watch my one show a week - Grey's Anatomy. I actually have a book I need to finish too, as I picked up my new just rec'd new book - The Dance of The Dissident Daughter - and am anxious to read that .... oooo, decision, decisions .... :o)

So, off I go, and ready to start a new week -- NOT. Wish I had a clock-slower for the weekend. ;0)

Happy Sunday evening, and Easter too .....

returned, hockey tournament, and a little lady

So, we've returned, and had a great time.

Saw loads of people that we love dearly, and spent some QT with them. S played golf, socialized, and slipped peacefully into that wonderful arena of the love of his posse. He is a different man with that crew. Relaxed, happy, and really -- at peace. I feel how he feels with them, comfortable, genuinely 'at home'. He adores the memories they have, and cherishes their connection deeply. I need to get him there more often. {mental note: make plans}

My business aspect of the weekend was a very successful one (well, truthfully, as yet to be seen when the orders roll in later .....) but in all, a very positive, and time-well spent marketing weekend. It was good to see my manager, the first time since January.

Back at home C had a hockey tourney this weekend. They played great! It was a collection of a team, several players from three different teams of this season. Some of the play was getting to know the other kids on the ice, and decifering the connection they needed to make. In general, they clicked, obviously. S and I missed 2 games, and there were 4 total. They made it to the final championship game, and lost. :o( The team they played we were told, was all 8 going on 9 year olds, and ours was all 8's , a couple of 7's and a 6 year old. It really does make a difference. But they played very well, and C played awesome. He had a great tourney with some assists, and several shots on net. He was thrilled to be there, but, as expected very sad not to win "the whole thing" as he said. However, with a little discussion, he is comfortable with kowing they played reallllllly well.

The little gal, K, just this weekend appeared to me to be about 3 years older when I got home. :o( For some reason, she was just grown up. :o( She and I were chattering on about the goings on this weekend, and she just seemed like she was 8. {sigh} It happens to me often, when I am away, and upon my return, it's as if I am reminded that that time is gone forever - and *this* is what happens when time moves on without me.

So this morning, she wanted to take an Easter Egg that was made last year of plaster, and decorated by her, to school for show-and-tell. The rule is in Kindergarten that they need to write a sentence about the s-a-t item. So she sits, with the egg, and writes this (exactly as she wrote it) : " I have an Eastr egg that I made last yer with my gramma and my brothr. It has pink dekerasons (decorations) on it." Not too bad, I thought ~ for 5! Holy cow, reading and writing has taken off! The she says, "mommy, I'm going to hold this on the bus like a baby, because it's very fragile, and I need to protect it". :o)

Wow, my little lady.

So, here I am readying to clean the piles off the desk, and return to the land of normal.

It's good to be home. At least here, I can slow the hands of time a little better.

Have a great Monday!

A little time away

S and I are heading out of town today for a little get-away. It is a little bit of work, for both of us, and a little bit of reprieve. I am so excited to have some alone time with him. :o)

The kiddies are hanging with my parents for 2 days, and they are thrilled! (and that always makes me feel 110% better .....)

So, have a great weekend .... and we'll see you Sunday evening!

When angels drop into your life.....

..... you get spoiled.

we were spoiled the last few months. we had an angel taking care of our little K-gal.

our sitter, Kelly, is wonderful. she is happy, and fun, and creative, and attentive, and accomodating, and trustworthy, and warm, and solid, and friendly, and kind ......


she's also leaving us.

{sniff, sniff}

I completely understand. her "full time" job (she was only with us part time for K in half day kinder, until the summer started, then she was going to take both squirts) is at a day care center, and she was working close to 30 hours there, without benefits. they called, and lost a staff member, and asked her to fill that spot. with benefits.

I can't blame her. that logical side of me fully understands, and that's what I told her, of course ... that selfish side wants to cover my eyes ....

and cry.

I know why they want her there. the woman is an angel.

just last week I asked her "how heaven was doing without one of their prize angels?" she just laughed ...

she always laughs "-) ...

let's face it, the fight was an unfair battle. we can't compete with benefits for a 22 year old.

although I'd like to think with the charm factor, we won. hands down {work with me, here, I'm wounded ....}

and K, my little K-gal got really, really sad when I told her.

Kelly, you see, was *all hers*. she only had to share her for 3 days with C during the last several months. every other day, Kelly was here to cater, love, nurture, giggle with, dance with, and play with K-gal ~ one - on - one.

so, I am feeling spoiled, and very, very fortunate for the presence of this angel ... but very sad that this angel is leaving us.

\and I have to hunt for a new sitter
maybe heaven will send a new angel to take care of my "angels in training".

:o)

babies, babies, everywhere .....

I have been to the mom's and babe's hospital here twice in the last week.

To visit two new babies that have entered my life. Lucky, lucky me! (a DEFINITE "want to", for sure! Such a better day here today! :o)

One babe was a girl, Ruby. A wee little thing ... 6lbs, 2 oz.
And one was a boy, Samson, to be called Sam, a wee bigger at 8lbs, 4 oz.


OOOOOOOO .... baby snuggles, baby coos, baby faces, baby toes, baby, baby, baby. :o) Love it. It's so nice to share in their joy, and see the pride in their faces. It is a miracle each time I witness the splendor of the creation. It realllllly is. And I marvel at the prospect of our shared *title* ~ mom.

I got pangs for sure. However, this time, the pangs were logical. As if there was that angel sitting on my shoulder, filing her nails and saying "but you're out of the woods, dear .... are you sure you want to go back?!" She was a loud angel. She was audible in my ear. She was very logical.

And the *other* angel on the other shoulder was cooing and ahhh-ing with me at the splendor in front of me. The smell of the new babe, the tender heart, the magical moments that lie ahead ....the *other* angel said "oh, yes, you are so not done." She was whispering, and speaking gently, and cooing .... she wasn't logical. She spoke with my heart.

Such a conundrum. Such an impass. The pros, the cons. There are many .....

Patience

why is it that someone gets ALL of it, and someone else gets NONE?

Doesn't seem fair.

I think that I was given about an ounce. Okay, maybe an ounce and a tablespoon.

I want a gallon.

Really.

I had a frustrating day today. And I lost my patience at 8:00PM with C who was an innocent bystander to the frustration. That sucks. I felt awful, and apologized, but I still feel like the weight of the bad-mommy-award is sitting on my shoulders. :-(

It wasn't even any ONE thing that frustrated the hell out of me, it was several *things* that needed to be done. NOW. And that got me down, and irritated. I was busy with the have to's and the need to's; and the want to's were juuuuuuuuust beyond the reach of my fingertips. I couldn't get them. I couldn't even tip toe over to them and hang on to them.

Well, one I did. K and I decorated for Easter today. Took us all of 40 minutes. :o) And ... good news, our vriendin, Fransie (remember the wonderful Dutch lady that sent us *love* across the ocean?) we got all those fantabulously beautiful, and precious Easter decorations on the branches in the vases of sugar water.
weeeeeeeeeeee! That was fun, and definitely a "want to" {so why am I complaining, right? well, that was truly the only one today ..... and I have been up since 6:00AM that's why.} .... but I am planning on some photos so you all can see them too, and I think you'll think they look terrific, too! (or at least you'll tell me that ;o)

And right now, I am working. I was so good last year with this late at night working crap. So good. I turned off the work computer at 8:30/9:00, "the rest will wait until tomorrow" kind of attitude. Felt great, and even better, I found scrapping with all my free time. I felt like I was spending quality time with hobbies, and such. Now, things have changed a bit with work, the need to be more organized, and better prepared the next day is more essential, and truthfully necessary (coupled with the fact that always leads to more sales = more money, so hard to fight this here .....) in addition, I am one year deeper into the position, and one year deeper into the relationships with folks at hospitals = better/more communication in emails, and internet work, so now I work longer hours after the squirts are sleeping. That means: less time for scrapping (SO behind, not even funny) and less time unwinding. {I am procrastinating some detail work that is due to my boss with the blog entry here .... so this might bite me too .....drag}

And this all means: more frustration on my part because I have to put off the WANT TO's, which leads to short patience. See the evil cycle? ergh.

I need to let it go. I need to unwind, and find some patience. It's not even that I am unhappy with anything. Quite frankly, I love my job. I love our life. I am working out (thank god for that - can you IMAGINE if I was penting all that inside, not releasing?! aiy aiy aiy) I love my kids, I love my husband. I love want to's. I love the spring that is bounding in rapidly.

I loathe have to's. I have very very little patience for them.

I think tomorrow when I get home and C gets home, K, C and I are going to do a want to. Each of us will choose a want to, and complete it.

I am going to have a picnic with my kids in the afternoon. It may be an inside picnic due to rain, but dagnabbit, I am doing a want to tomorrow. And I want to have a picnic. Heck, I may even start the day with a want to.

I want to have more patience with ___________. Really, ALL of it.

There's a new blogger in 'da house .....

and she's a real clown!


:O)

Check her out at "all I ever wanted" in my links .... :o)

{woohoo, sistah' sledge, glad you could join the fun!}