the return

of the kid that was ...

i didn't blog about this, and was really mulling it over, to be honest. you see, i had to process this myself, in my head, and my heart.

the mom in me was overwhelmed with fear. the athletic trainer in me was far too quick to make judgements.

on december 22, 2007 cameron was knocked out cold on the ice by an opposing player. he was out for only 6 or so seconds, but to me, to sean, and to all the eyes looking on the ice - it could have been 6 minutes. the kid that hit him was as dirty a player as i have ever seen. he had knocked down two of our other kids (no penalty) and received a penalty for crosschecking another one of our kids. then he illegally hit cameron by coming in to high on his body (i.e. his chin) and laying him out. this kid was 125 lbs. we were told by his team. for reference cam weighs 79 lbs. quite a disparity, yes? (i'll have to save my feelings about checking at the age of 8 for another post .... it'll be far too long!)

i'm pretty sure he was out in the air after the initial impact on him. he was 'wet noodle' in appearance in the air, and landed on his upper back/back of his head with his feet trailing after the hit. he didn't move. not one muscle. the coach leapt over the bench and brought cam around by his voice, and then told him not to move - until he felt comfortable.

thankfully, he was able to leave the ice on his own power, with his teammates. the game was over and we went to the lockeroom. he was not himself, at all. we brought him to the hospital, and the assessment, thankfully was quite positive. he had xrays, and they cleared his spine, and head of fractures. no neurological impairment, and he was cleared for hockey for the next weekend, only needing to take two days off the ice. (that was the part that he was more upset about - which we were pleased about as it could have been very opposite of that and he could have been terrified of playing again)

that next weekend he played a tournament with his team, there was no checking in that tourney, so he was perfectly fine, playing close to where he had been playing previous to the hit. then, he had 2 games in the league where they do check. he was so off his game, so tentative, and so not interested in being aggressive. while we completely understood, our awareness was heightened, as typical to having fear on the ice, there is a much higher liklihood of injury.

he wasn't talking about it. he was keeping it inside. then, we decided the best thing to do was discuss it. essentially, the outcome was this:

he needed permission to admit he had some apprehension of being out on the ice. he needed to process it and get it out of his head, and on the table. we granted that, of course, and told him how impressed we were that he was fearless enough to lace his skates (and mommy and daddy would be equally nervous had they been hit like that!) told him how proud we were of his leadership on this team (he is the oldest on the team, with the most experience) and how proud we were that he was working so hard at this. we also told him that he needed to be more aggressive, and NOT tentative because that's how you can get very hurt on the ice.

he got it. he really did.

it took him one more game to "test" the water, and throw some checks, but was keeping a distance from receiving a check.

then, we had a game yesterday that was a checking game.

something switched on in that head of his. he played out of his mind. he was aggressive, and excited, and pumped up. he scored a hatrick! one of his goals was totally unassisted.

all i said was 'thank goodness cam is back' and the parents agreed.

the dude returned.

thank goodness!