emerging ...

slowly, i think. from the place that i was. i am feeling like i am getting into the groove of things, and back to the 'old self. i'd love to share some photos from our west coast trip ... so ...

i should start with this:

san fransisco is an incredible city with magical qualities of beauty,kindness,heritage,beautiful people, and culture. i fell in love. i did, no doubt. we had a "in-a-lifetime" type of trip (not necessarily *once* in that lifetime, we plan on visiting again, yk?)

but it will forever be the place that sean, bryan, susie, and i convened prior to bryan's deployment to iraq.

it was beautiful, and necessary, and needed. it was emotional, and wonderful, and enriching, and heartwrenching, and painful all at the same time.


we met people, and made connections that are impossible to put into words. really. there are stories that we have to tell about those that we met, by chance, 3000 miles from BOTH of our homes. there was an overwhleming amount of kindness expressed to susie and bryan, and even us, from those that knew he was deploying. dinners were payed for, drinks we bought, hands were extended with warm hugs, and encouraging words of 'just come back safe, Bryan', from people we had just met. he was given things to bring with him for safety, and things he was told to return with safely. he was thanked countless times.


it was awesome.


it was also hard to let him go, and get on his plane.

i watched him, and let my stare linger, as he disappeared beyond the door. my thoughts waffled back and forth from ' oh, god, what if this is the last time i see him ever again, what'll i tell the kids we said to each other?'. to 'be safe' to 'don't go' to 'come back, i need one more hug'. inside i was screaming, wanting so badly to run and get him, and on the outside i was strong. so ... opposite of me, normally.


he's in california again for some training before he goes to iraq in july. one month. one.

to say that we've been recovering is an understatement. it was an emotionally, and physically draining trip, that lifted us up all at the same time, as i said. but the 'post-vacation-hangover' has lingered longer with this one than ever before. I've never felt like this before, and i am working hard at processing what we're dealing with. i'm scared, and nervous, and angry, and sad, and terrified.


i will be here more often, to write, and 'purge' i suspect. there are some other things fluttering about that have kept me pensive, and disturbed, unrelated to bryan and susie, but rleated to sean's family, so i'm chalking this time up to 'in-law angst'. heh. (you know everything needs a title, or a 'category' right?)


on with the snaps -


here are the 4 of us, on the second day, heading to do some shopping and sightseeing. (get used to B's outfit, he packed very lightly. dang Marine's, they really get used to NOT having clean clothes. sigh.)
B & S in the redwood trees at Muir Woods - they were doing "this is what a little kid squeal is like because mom wouldn't stop snapping pictures" (!) yeah, realll funny, fellas.




the quintessential SF shots - the Golden Gate Bridge as you pass over it towards Sausalito. hmmmmm .. so nice! and the sourdough bread at the bakery on Fisherman's Wharf, they made animals all week long, and displayed them in the window. (we stayed on the wharf) yummiest bagel evah!.


a brother sandwich of me at Muir woods. (i have to add here, this might be the first trip EVER where there is more than one shot of me!)

and an early evening shot as we strolled to dinner at Alioto's on the water. isn't that gorgeous?

me & he aboard the double decker tour bus around the city. late in the day, and very much having a great time!

finally, for now, a kind of a funny, very late evening shot from saturday night. clearly a few adult bevies had been consumed by the time this was snapped. i *think* the bartender took it, but i could be wrong ....

so, that's what i got for now .... there are 175 more that i have waiting to be edited, etc. i'll be visiting and posting more as the days go by over the next weeks. i'm also working on a project for Bryan and Susie with the photos, so i'm motivated to get them done, and it's certainly therapeutic.

alas, sorry for the lengthy break ... i think it was something i needed to do - on many levels.

ciao. :)

I am back ... I am just completely out of sync

with me.

:O(

the trip was amazing, and i absolutely fell in love with San Fran.

*love*

i have pictures, and commentary, but it has to wait .... i am struggling with returning to the kids who seemingly decided now would be a great time to go through one of those developmental phases. you know, one that you hope glides by with the speed of light?

work was hard to jump back into. (shocking, i know)

and we opened the pool which inevitably means the backyard needed some work to make it purty.

so, i will be back ... perhaps tomorrow night.

:o)

Mom has a day

once a year. it's a day that gives those that love mom a moment of reflection, a moment of love, and a reason to spoil mom.

i was. {grins}

yummy breakfast in bed. freshly picked flowers from my own garden in a vase.

2 squirts sharing my bed with me, eating with me.

homemade cards, treasured gifts made by their little hands .....

and a beautiful bracelet from Pandora, with birth month charms of my kidlets that i've wanted for years ... :O)

told ya, spoiled. :)

had a lovely day in the yard, spring cleaning, and summer-readying. getting happier as the moments passed ... heard the kids giggling all day, and playing all day.

good moments.

love days like this.

San Francisco

so i've mentioned it a time or two in a post. we've booked the trip, and we're all set to go! this is the sales trip i won/earned for being top 10 last year. typically, they send you and a spouse on a company paid trip with all the muckie mucks, but they instead paid us what the trip would cost, and we get to go where we want, and spend what we want from that gift. so,yep, frisco - bound!

i'ma headin' outta here~!

the big guy and i are taking a few days of r&r with uncle b and autie s, before he's shipped off to iraq in july. we just *needed* to see him before he went, and auntie s and i needed to connect while the brother's connected, too. surround him (bryan) with love, and give him some qt with this big broher and his wife from the east coast. we haven't seen them in about 9 or 10 months. way, waaaaay too long.

so ~~~~

fisherman's wharf
easy dinners
lazy breakfasts
golf
sun
talking
being
napa valley
wine
beer
relaxing
canoodling
e.n.j.o.y.i.n.g.

we leave next wed and i am already counting the days down .. down ... down :)

i've been exactly once to that fabulous land, and i was 1. yes, one year old. not too much recall from that trip, however.

so, readying the kids, readying the house, the dogs, and the details here in our lives is certainly beginning to shake. i have mostly everything written down for my parents, and the kids are looking forward to all they 'get to do' with mimi and poppi. mostly, stay up later than normal, eat some things they only get at their grandparents house (even though they'll be in their own house, they still want the spoiling ... can't blame them right?) and they are looking forward to the 'presents from where you're going' when we return.

funny thing is, they have some activities that will be happening while we're gone, so my parents get to participate in the "parenting" thing again with them! baseball games, practices, softball games and practice, gymnastics, birthday parties. you name it, it's jammed in there in those 5 days. (may parents will be exhausted and happy to give the kids back, right!?) they do love it, and they too, are looking forward to having the kids all to themselves without 'our rules'. {it'll take me a week to get the kids back to our routine! ;) }

on another note, or two:
i've got some neat spring shots i've been taking, and will post soon, looking forward to the nice long flight to read heavily on my digi camera, too ... been a busy week, looking forward to mother's day, and the nice weekend.

anyone else experiencing the 8 year old boy fascination with burping? {sigh} attractive. hoping that the novelty will pass.

soon.

had the windows cleaned today in the house. yeowza! there was a whole world beyond that winter weather-markers of rain/snow/wind! love the cleanliness of the shiny glass!

happy mom's day to one and all!

moment of pause

often i am reminded of the incredible gifts i have: two healthy, beautiful children; a wonderfully loving, and devoted husband; a great home; awesome family and friends; a good job, etc. and always, health. that's the one that gives me the *pause* i speak of in the title up there.

i am posting this to each of you in hopes that through word of mouth, and by the incredible network of the internet, we can help someone reach his goal and grant this wish. it isn't money, not one red cent. it isn't toys, or even material things.

you get to be creative, and make a card. then send it to this little guy who will turn 8 on May 30th.

did you read that? 8 years old. the age of my first born.
he's dying of cancer. c.a.n.c.e.r.
that wretched, horrible monster of a disease that takes people too soon.

i know we're all busy, and we've all got loads of things on our plates. but if you would take just a moment, click on this link and read the note there.

www.shaneswish.com

and then maybe make a card or two from your family, and send it to this little guy.

kendall came home from school with this page printed, and a note from school. they have participated and made cards for Shane in her classroom, and the other classrooms are also participating, and will send them out as an organization participating in this effort.

we are also going to send our own from our family.

if you can't make a card, tell someone about this, and see if they can. pass this on .... i think it's worth it.

one word ....

She's (Nichole) at it again, folks ... the one word game. And there's a spin at the end too. Play along, fun stuff.

Your Shirt: blue
To Your Right: printer
To Your Left: laptop
The Most Recently-Placed Object On Your Desk: glass
You Detest: dishonesty
Have Been Thinking About: SanFran!
Would Like To Buy: umbrellas (outdoor on the deck)
Will Never Buy: Porsche
Your Upcoming Week's Biggest Negative: conference
Your Upcoming Week's Greatest Plus: no travel
Part Of Your Last Meal: soup
Something You Won't Tolerate: fresh kids
Something You Can't Turn Down: love
Your Mind: busy
Your Preferred Flavor of Toothpaste: mint
The Location of Your First Kiss: pool
Your Favorite Part of a Picnic: sharing
A Favorite Type of Tree: weeping willow
The Last Thing You Completed: laundry
You'd Love To Be Invisible For One Day In a Room With: grandmother

Number 9: High School Edition, Yo

The name of the game this time is HIGH SCHOOL, FOOL. Oh yeah, I'm gonna make you rememember all of those great things about that most hormonal and akward time of your life right at the beginning of the week, no less. After you read mine, copy and paste the list into your comment and replace my answers with yours...AS YOU WOULD HAVE ANSWERED THEM AS A HIGH SCHOOL JUNIOR. You only get ONE WORD to respond. Have courage, may the force be with you, you are the wind beneath my wings, and all that crap.

Your Shoes: pennies
Your Hair: curly
Your Worst Fear: disconnected
The Gym: daily
Your Greatest Talent: laughing
Your Parents: super
Your Favorite Food: meatballs
Your Greatest Fault: talking
Your Friends: rocked!
The Opposite Sex: who?
What You Want to Be In 10 Years: Sports Medicine
Your Means of Transportation: Volvo
The Name of Your Current Crush: Joe
Your Grades: good
Something You Wish You Could Do: sing
Your Favorite Fast Food Chain: McD's
Something Your Parents Won't Let You Do: disconnect
How Many Boyfriends or Girlfriends You've Had: two
Someone Who Has Had a Crush On You: Kevin
Your Favorite Subject: anatomy
Where You Have Made Out Most Often: my mind
A Prized Possession: rings
Something Your Parents Won't Let You Have: misery
A Favorite Movie Star of the Opposite Sex: Costner
Your Wardrobe: uniform
What You're Looking Forward To: senior year!

Fun stuff, and GREAT walk donw memory lane!

*****************************************************************************

On another note, 10 days until we leave on a jet plane ... wooohoooo! :O)

more on that laters ....

Happy Sunday night !

when you chose your mom, how was it i got so lucky?

really ... in all the world, of all the moms, why me? what lucky star fell on me, and gave me this angel?

you came along 8 years and 4 months ago, and magically, effortlessly, brought your father and i from a couple - to a family. the power of that *position* is one that you relish in, without even knowing what it's truly made of.

i can't imagine or remember what our lives were like without you in it.

why would i want to?

your wit, and silly demeanor entertain us, and delight us. and yes, can drive us crazy at times. mostly your sister, but she reveres you as the "best thing in the whole world, all for me!" you are charming, and coy, and reveal that sensitive side to the safe people you give your heart to. you are happy, and fun to be around. you have enough energy to light a small city. you are fundamentally all boy. you posess charisma, and character that draws others closer. i love being with you, and around you. so many others feel the same way. people feel alive with you nearby. it shows in their faces, and their hearts.

that is a special gift. a rare gift. one i hope never, ever goes away.

your spirit and soul are a page from your daddy's book. the one, and only, thing that separates you both right now is height. and that won't be for too long. the identical image of the two of you takes my breath at times. your athletic ability is amazing to us. it's almost as if you tell your body 'do this, this way' and your body responds easily. neat to watch, and i can imagine more neat to DO.

you are a treasure, one in which i am so proud to call mine. one in which i deeply hope i will be able to cherish and nurture for as long as i can .... you are beautiful, and amazing, and spirited, and loving, and enjoyable. you are so much - for so many.

i love you, buddy. with everything i am.

thanks for choosing me.

thoughts ...

randomly, yet somehow in order.

* not feeling like me. been harboring a cold/sinus thing for a few days.
* throat sore now.
* kendall rolled her ankle this weekend playing at baseball opening day. limp has improved. ice. motrin. hugs. all working
* cameron played catcher at opening day, and looked like a mini-Varitek. *swoon* :o) he rocks. (my kid, AND 'Tek)
* closer to purchasing those SanFran tix. (grins!) will fill in blanks once a done-deal ....
* not looking forward to starting this week, because the END of the week is bringing me to Bangor, Maine. ugh. looooong drive
* sean's baseball season is seemingly in FUll throttle swing - 2 games - yes, folks TWO - today. one at 9:00AM, and one at 7:00PM. {sigh} "single" motherhood begins ...
* about those SF tix ..... ;o)
* quiet house. kids sleeping since 7:30. had a GREAT, but tiring weekend ... celebrated a 40th for a friend last night, all 7 kids with us! fun times! and the night before, i got to catch up with my guuurlfriends for a little bite to eat, and a cocktail ... or two.
* just finished my may and june schedule for the kids activities and the hubby's. always, always seems more reasonable when i see it in writing. you know?
* countdown has begun until summer break - 7 more weeks! YAY!

okay, random, yet, as i mentioned, somehow in order. or at least in my head they are in order.

i have loads of photos to upload, so i'll be working on that this week ... planning to showcase some new shots of the squirts 'snouts. because, dang it, they are the cutest snouts.

off to curl up with some reading.

g'night!

you are beautiful ....

breathtakingly so.

there are moments that i stop, look at her, and inhale, while my heart skips a beat. where did i ever turn in the right direction to be blessed to have this incredible angel on this earth with me?

have you ever heard the line 'heaven must be missing one of their favorite angels .... you're here with me.'

so true.

so.very.true.

i know she is mine, and of course, i know that i am biased. i recognize that any mother, regardless of the beauty they *see* in their kid is blinded by the love in their heart - that which makes the beauty be ever-present.

but
she
takes
my
breath
away.

she is gentle, and kind, and nurturing, and silly, and fun, and a rare treasure.

and i get to call her mine.

a gift.

i hope to unwrap for many, many years to come.

thanks, sweetpea. i love having you to call mine. i love being with you and sharing me with you. i love the way you make me feel when i am around you. i love the way you touch my soul. i love the way you find your music, and hear your song with the beat of our hearts. i love the way you love your daddy. i love the way you make this house your castle, one with your knight in shining armor.

i love you, sweetie.

xxoo

My thoughts ....

are with the families, and loved ones, and all touched by the virginia tech horror that occured yesterday.

may the developing stories lend peace, and healing to all that have been affected.

Day 1 Spring (ha!) Break

41 degrees, rain, wind moving at speeds of 40 mph at times. spring? my arse. ;o)

so, when all points you in the chilly direction, and the outdoors that you call yours, when you are 6.5 and 8, looks like this:

then it's time to have mom call in the friends that keep you laughing, and make you feel silly.

so now, we look like this:

spent two hours at 'open gym' this morning with these two little sweat peas, and then i kidnapped them to our house for lunch and the afternoon of playing, dancing, laughing, and general silly moments.

got a hot cup '0 chai next to me, and googling some ideas for tomorrow .... these two little gals are heading to Florida for a few days with their family in the evening tomorrow. so, perhaps i can steal them for the day tomorrow again before they escape the wintery northeast and head to the sun.

besides, my squirts think they are treasures. :o)

have a great monday afternoon!

Spring Treats

Yes, folks, spring has sprung - on the calendar, at least - soitenly NOT in the air ... and there are some treats that we've been enjoying here .... I'll be taking you back a week, seeing that this week got away from me, and I realized I never did make it back for some more photos postings!

last Sunday was Easter - a lovely holiday as far as I am concerned (mostly because traditionally it brings the ease of the new season, spring fever bites me, and the 'holiday'ness of the day is far, FAR less stressful for this family!) ... it also typically entails decorating the house with some really pretty, and very delicate european beauties from my dear friend, Fransie! (photos, too!) *smooches again* for these last year F!

a busy Easter morning egg hunt (yep, did it) and always involves some decorating of the eggs (yep, check the little guys out! - photo proof it occured! they are hidden in the basket above, and also we laid them on the floor to snap a few shots)

and then a little relaxing whilst eating the treasures from the eggs ... (yep, did it, but I've been threatened with my digital camera if I post photo proof of grown adults snatching candy from children, so you'll just have to believe me that the kids stash was raided!) then we feast on the fine dinner created by yours truly (herb encrusted porkloin, honey mustard sauce, ham, with special glaze, spaghetti squash with roasted tomatos and cheese, homemade bread, and the family added potatos au gratin, green beans, and salad - ym, huh?) then we all chilled and played board games, and laughed. after we watched the Masters, of course.

So since then, I've been trying to catch as much of our daily lives in my heart, and head ... and want to document the stories that are wrapped into these moments so, I've been snapping some photos, and learning some more about the camera. we've been very busy doing our warm weather pleading dance to the sky (read: playing outdoors until fingers were frozen, and noses were running and street lights came on ...) so here's a fe shots of that activity - or many activities! :o)

Today began spring break from school, and the kids are looking forward to it, albeit not a necessary (like the Christmas Break seemingly is for the kids!) break ... they are gearing up with friends over last night, playdates today after sports, and a fun filled, family-friendly dinner out a fave restaurant with the 4 of us tonight. So, with that .. I am off to snap a few more happy snaps, and enjoy the rest of the blustery winds with the squirts outside. Off to get my mittens, and hat.

Have a great weekend!

it's time ...

for a few photos. wouldn't you say? it's been many moons since i've posted any.

quite literally, life as i described it to someone feels like someone turned my 'shaker' upside down and just keeps tapping it. (kind of a visual, yes?) now if it's salt, perhaps i need to find some tequila, eh?

it isn't bad, i am not insanely busy, i feel like i am doing fine, just consitently busy.

my little sweet 8 year old son has found the preverbial "line in the sand" ...... and has been dancing on it. (see "granted" post below ...)

yes, dancing.

most of the time, he jumps over it, and therefore, i find the edge, and jump over that. yep, not all that proud of it, but it is what it is. we're figuring this little thing out, here.

my little 6 year old is marvelously finding her little groove in life. yes, she dances on that line, too. but then, she always has ... so maybe, just *maybe* i am in tune with her dance, and his is just all new to me? a thought ..... must get the rhythm of his music; THAT is the trick, right? ....

so, here ... here are some latest photos from a freakin' cold weekend here. i mean 35 degrees. it's april, and easter, and all .... 45 - 50 is where i need the thermometer. {sigh}

the start of the roller hockey game ... (check out the goaltender in the background ..... that would be my neighbor's little guy that SWEARS he lives with us)

below, cameron was sitting on the ground, and i snuck up on him, and he looked up and smiled at me ... ooooo, that little face!

isn't this hysterical?

i love that they let completely loose ... free!

another neighbor of ours has a trampoline that the kids will just have a ball on from time to time

now, seriously, is that the sky of a spring in new england?? doesn't it *look* freezing??

and cameron's baseball started this weekend, too .... brrrrr .... but he's on a AA team (minors) which in laymans terms means 'more competitive than last year'. not many 8 year olds make that level, so he was jazzed! kendall starts softball next week ... very excited! i'll bring the camera there for both of those events ... :o)

that's about all for now ... off to snuggle in bed. i'll be here posted some more photos soon .....

One.

using one word answer the questions in the list. if ya wanna play too, copy the list, and answer with your own words.

Your weekend: fun
Smelling: lunch
Annoyed by: attitude
Your face: smiling
Your pants: sweats
Something you want to create: peace
A favorite old movie star: Sofia
Not looking forward to: peacekeeping
Hearing: clock
Wish you could: vacation
Last thing you cooked: potstickers
Your breakfast: yummy
Your driving record: good
Last illness: shitty :-0
Wants to be: traveling
Mind keeps wandering to: SanFrancisco
You despise: lying
Unprepared for: losing
Favorite part of spring: weather
Your toenails: ignored
Proud of your: multitasking
Not proud of your: impatience
How you decompress: workout
Your kitchen table: tulips
Something you want to accomplish today: patience

Thanks, Nichole! :O)

I like these little lists .... but then I love lists! heh

granted

taken for it. permission to take it. living with it.

i'd like to think that i've taught my squirts a thing or two about this. about doing the right thing with "granted".

however, the lesson is lost when it's you trying to teach them not to take you for granted.

get it?

{sigh}

mommy take the beatings, and then, huggings.
mommy gets the tongue lashings when the kidlets are getting to the end of the rope, and then gets the kisses with 'i love you, mom'.
mommy hears the pushing and the requests, then gets the 'thank you' unpromted at just the right moment.

so, when the instruction manual goes for publishing on raising of children, be sure to proofread this chapter - extra well.

granted.

given.

happy Wednesday!

april showers .. ? may flowers

gee, i hope so ..... 'cause you know what? it's raining today ... it's supposed to rain all week and really - i would love me some may flowers! and i am ready to see 'em, plant 'em, and water 'em. yep - it's gardening time here in new england. ;o)

spring is in the air here (well, in our heads anyway, the weather isn't exactly cooperating in that department) and gardens are just waiting to be turned over, groomed, and nurtured. including mine - all of them. yum. my mom is the gardener in the family, and she does an amazing job - utterly amazing. i am so lucky for that.

i made a return today at a store, and the gardens outside the store were full of holes, and spaces with open arms awaiting the new arrivals that would inhabit the spaces. pretty flowers, every color you could imagine. the smell of the flowers, and the dirt was captivating. it enriched my spring fever. intensified it if that's even possible.

after several phone calls, and loads of work, i made a rasberry crumble tart this afternoon ... i had some nice tea with it. the kiddies came home from a great day at school ("TONS of fun stuff happened today, mom!") i got the run down on those details, of course, then they chilled out after homework and snacks ... cam turned on nesn and opening day arrived for the red sox with the fervor and excitement that it always does (and it should, to be honest!) .... sean even made it home to watch a few innings. then before dinner, kendall and i went to find some easter duds for she and the cam-dude to wear. good stuff. (but let me add that i cannot believe that she needs to be with me now to shop for clothes for her. 'mommy, i'd rather have a skirt, not a dress this time. a skirt, a short sweater, and a nice little top, okay?' cannot.believe.we.are.at.that.stage.already) {sigh}

so, sunday is easter. the bunny arrives, of course, loads of eggs, loads of baskets, and a fun hunt. we have a fabulous easter egg hunt here - we've planned it for the neighborhood to take part in for the 3 years we've lived here.... all the kiddies gather around, and scatter to grab as many as thier little hands can gather. the bunny clearly spent an enormous amount of his time the night before here in this neighborhood (as in 700 eggs!) then easter dinner with the family, probably here.

ah, springtime. ain't it grande?

groovy time of year.

a little break

it was a spontaneous thing ... unplanned, and unnecessary, honestly. it just .... happened.

i want to jump back in with this, though -

happy thoughts.

i have so many. the last two weeks have been really good. my whole life i have 'suffered' from spring fever. this year is no different. my son has it too.

we are giddy, and goofy, and full .... of everything. life. vip. vigor. excitement. giggles. and energy.

so, i need to make a list. a list of things that make me smile. that have been making me smile. and keep me moving forward to enjoy the time.

* silly kids with smiles on thier faces
* playing catch in the yard
* cameron making a AA baseball team
* kendall signing up for softball, and really practicing already
* playing wiffle ball in the front year
* chocolate chip and peanut butter chip homemade cookies
* temps in the 50's for three days straight
* dinner with friends, laughing 'til my sides hurt
* turning 39, having a ball out with my husband ringing it in
* laughing with kids
* listening to my kids giggling at a movie they are watching in the car with headphones on
* sleeping in 'til 9:02 AM on the weekend
* joking with sean about the wiffle ball and baseball games that have been continuous for several days
* shopping for three new deck umbrellas (means that the pool will be opened soon!)
* buying a batting cage for the backyard that makes my husband all kinds of giddy
* hearing my two discuss the ins and outs of sports center scores
* wondering how i ever got so lucky to have these two little creatures
* slipping off to read in a quiet corner
* being able to go to the gym every day
* feeling good about the way i feel from exercise
* having the entire weekend to do as we pleased
* fresh fruit that seems to be coming to season
* tulips on my table
* new sheets on all the beds
* cute new shower curtains, and curtain holders for the bathrooms
* a new video camera treat for sean and i
* spring break coming up in two weeks
* a new babysitter discovered! (likely will be the summer sitter too!)
* feeling organized and spring cleaned .. partially.

so, there. that's the start to the list that i have so far. that's what i've been up to, and keeping busy with.

i need to write more, though. i need to get here. and it dawned on me, there are lots of things i need to take pictures of to record the things that make me happy.

happy start to the week!

Monday ... a good, no great weekend, and St. Paddy's Day recap

whoo. that's a long title, eh?

it's monday here, monday night. hanging out, kids sweetly sleeping ... chillin' watching to 'tube with hubby. mindless wonder 'tube. deal or no deal. love it. great day, all day. smooth meeting with an account. got to the gym, after school art activity with the squirts, friends over for some fun in the snow - well, snow ball tossing and rolling in the white stuff, anyway - and then a yummy dinner with the family. no chaos, no strife. no angst.

nice.

had a super weekend. little dude won the first two playoff games. couple of assists, a goal, and a really uplifted spirit - the whole team's - after a few challenging games just prior to the two. that feels good. little gal had a great gymnastics day on saturday - roundoff backhandspring is 'coming together' according to the coach. she was beaming!

then, we had a date.

yum.

the squirts were beside themselves with glee that they got to stay overnight at mimi and poppi's for the night so sean and i could have a st patty's day celebration. yahoo! great night, great friends, and great memories!

we hit a favorite irish pub, saw several folks, lifted a few, ahem, pints and enjoyed the atmosphere. then we ventured to another venue where good friends of ours were planted, with several hundred people, and raised a few more pints ... and capped off the night with a final visit to yet another irish pub - yes, a full evening. through it all, loads of laughter, and some really great moments that are engrained in our memories. love this day each year ....

spent the day yesterday recollecting the good times, and laughter. even now, sitting next to me, he's laughing about some moments.

good stuff.

so, another week has begun, it'll be a busy one. but when you start from the gate with a simply hysterical weekend, how hard will it be?

enjoy ......

one word

so my friend in blogland Nichole, has asked that we play a game .... so here I go: you have to answer the question in one word - that's it. ONE.

Number 5

Your Current Footwear: socks
Something You're Doing Later: playing
Something You Wish You Could Do Right Now: sled
Your Age At the Time Of Your First Kiss: 14
Your Feelings About Global Warming: interested
A Sport You Wish Would Never Be Shown On Television: none (meaning: I like them all)
Something On Your Desk that Shouldn't Be: iDog
A Word To Describe The Current State of Your Sex Life: satisfying
How the Sky Looks Right Now: white
Which of Snow White's 7 Dwarfs You'd Be: Happy
Your Preferred Birthday Cake: icecream
A Magazine You Subscribe To: Child
Number of Piercings You Have: zero
Your Favorite Delivery/Takeout Item: Thai
A Game You Hate to Play: head
The Name of Your First Real-Life Crush: Adam
The Hand You Write With: right
The Hand You Wear Watches On: neither
Your Clothes Closet: packed
The Side of the Bed You Sleep On (from the on-the-bed perspective): left
A Flavor You Love: lemon
Your Car: (*sniff*) mourning
The Last Thing You Misplaced: email
Your High School Mascot: bengal
Your Wasted Talent: dancing

Number 6
Your Mood: giddy
What you're craving: Thai
Your favorite Day of the Week: Saturday
Your Mind: tired
Something that Cheers You Up: kids!
Something that Depresses You: arguing
Where Your Keys Rest at Night: cupboard
A TV Gameshow You Secretly Get Into: Deal
The Way You Like Your Eggs: easy
Your Hair: fun
The Last Thing You Ordered Online: music
The Messiest Room in Your Home Right Now: kidsroom
Your Least Favorite Month: February
The Worst Fashion Fad You Participated In: perms
How Many Times In the Night You Get Up To Pee (on average): ZIPPO
Your Journey: enjoyable
A Sound That Makes You Happy: laughing
Your First Date: movie
Something You Wish You Did More Often: played
Something You Admire: gentleness
The First Place You Go When You Get Home: kitchen
What You're Going to Do Now: snuggle

That was fun, Nichole ..... :o)

pride

i never fully understood the feeling of swelling pride until i became a mom of a child that spoke like a little man ... or a child that engaged another adult without my prompting, without my guidance, and she never faltered, or shyed away.

i never really grasped that heart-pounding, breath-taking love from the depths of my soul until i watched my child relate to another child, and give their heart over - with ease, and innocence awaiting nothing in return.

i never understood the magic that you experience as the mom of a little athlete that scores a goal to 'turn the team around, and get them moving in the right direction'.

i never felt the incredible warmth of success until i watched my little 'baby' turn a trick on the gymnastics floor that she had been practicing for endless hours.

i never ventured on this journey .... until i had a baby that became a little person.

and i know they are here only temporarily. for me to gently guide, and hold, and love, and be proud of. i know it is only a moment of time that i have with them as my babes.

but i'll always be their mom.


my heart aches for the mom of a 17 year old child that passed away in a freak skateboarding accident Tuesday near our hometown. please be sure to wear helmets.

may her pain soon be replaced with the fond memories he gave her in his short time on earth.

hugging a little more tonight.

Better ... and thanks

I am feeling better .... the burden was lifted after some really nice comments here (thanks, friends, you rock!) and a nice chat with the dear hubby, and also some really nice email chats with (his side of) the family that connects with me to get more info. Yes, they call me and email me. Perhaps that might be one of the stressors that I was feeling .... dunno, but in the end, I feel better. :o)

I only have a minute or two here - the little Kgal has given me strict orders to "update her music, please" on her (handmedown) iPod. :o)

What a great day today! I was at the kids school (a place I am truly honored allows me - really gives me an OPPORTUNITY - to be involved with my kids academic life, as well as social development) for kindergarten registration. I cannot believe it was only *moments ago* that she was in K - and only a few more *moments* that he was. hard to imagine that. But the newbies are so stinkin' cute .... and I knew so, so many as they are sibs of friends of my kids.

I really enjoy this school ... this community ... this wonderful atmosphere. I went to the lunch room to check in on the kids, and the lunch lady, came up to me, knowing who I was, and said, 'oh, your son is SUCH a great kid. He is so polite, and so easy going, he is always such a treat to see here". How about that?!

He is a cool kid, but I'm a wee bit biased. Then she says, and "your daughter is such a little helper to all the other kids .... good kids, you have".

{grins}

thank goodness that they are fun to be around, and engaging little creatures.

Much, much better day today.

So ...

where have I been?

oh, my it's been a little bit here .... {sigh}

i have so much to share, so much going on ... i needed a moment to give me pause, and i got it from a new photography blog i have been visiting. i needed to be given a breath.

...... and it suits my need right now for this posting.

check this out - copied right from that blog:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What Will Matter by: Michael Josephson - Founder of the Josephson Institute of Ethics

Ready or not, some day it will all come to an end.

There will be no more sunrises, no minutes, hours or days. All the things you collected, whether treasured or forgotten will pass to someone else.

Your wealth, fame and temporal power will shrivel to irrelevance. It will not matter what you owned or what you were owed.

Your grudges, resentments, frustrations and jealousies will finally disappear. So too, your hopes, ambitions, plans and to do lists will expire.

The wins and losses that once seemed so important will fade away.

It won't matter where you came from or what side of the tracks you lived on at the end.

It won't matter whether you were beautiful or brilliant. Even your gender and skin color will be irrelevant.

So what will matter? How will the value of your days be measured?

What will matter is not what you bought but what you built, not what you got but what you gave.

What will matter is not your success but your significance.

What will matter is not what you learned but what you taught.

What will matter is every act of integrity, compassion, courage, or sacrifice that enriched, empowered or encouraged others to emulate your example.

What will matter is not your competence but your character.

What will matter is not how many people you knew, but how many will feel a lasting loss when you're gone.

What will matter is not your memories but the memories that live in those who loved you.

What will matter is how long you will be remembered, by whom and for what.

Living a life that matters doesn't happen by accident. It's not a matter of circumstance but of choice.

Choose to live a life that matters.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

because today is the 4th day since i heard that my mil was rushed to the hospital for what appears to have been a series of "mini strokes", she has abused her body for so many years, my very first thought was 'this is the beginning of the end'.
this was exactly how my fil's last year began for him. i am confused as to my role as a wife, to my husband, through this new development.
because he has no relationship with her currently, and the realtionship prior to this non-existent one was achingly poor, at best. he has pure clarity with his relationship with her - it's me that has the issues with it. i struggle with it. i think to myself - it *is* his mother - she gave the man life several years ago.

but she has pissed hers away.

she cares nothing for my kids, seen them only once, no, actually cam twice, kendall once.

so as a mom, i am fiercely protective of them, as a funeral is immenent, and we will need to attend - i suppose. do i bridge the gap with the family, and attempt to reach out? my mom and i spoke about me doing that 4 months ago, before these latest strokes. she told me i shouldn't feel compelled to reach out. why are you feeling guilty? what have you done to sever the relationship? you married her son - her oldest child, and she is angry with you. but she never even tried to get to know me. she just didn't like me because i married him. i don't even think she knows my name. my mom then said she made her bed, she needs to lie in it.

so, that little post above was poignant for me to read today.

she hasn't chosen to matter. she doesn't matter to herself, how can she expect to matter to others?

i am sad, and confused, and fearful of the outcome.

and at the same time, determined to matter to my kids. to my husband. and to my family.

i choose that life. i want to matter.

until tomorrow .....

sing it - "Saturday ...in the park ...

i think it was the 4th of July .... "

oh, i love that song! and i am thinking of summer, here. well, spring, more like it. why, you ask, as you remember i live in the blustery-this-time-of-year new england ??!! because the windows are open - it's chilly, yes - and the birds are singing. it's march. and the weather should be decent this weekend.

and dagnabbit, that snow is just not happening. so, i've smartly left it behind. it isn't going to happen. we aren't getting snow this winter.

bummer.

we had a rain storm yesterday, same storm that his the northern section of ne, but left a foot - yes 12 INCHES of snow there, and we, well, we got flooded. literally. our pool is so full, we called our firefighter friend for the *big* pump to get some of that water out. we had puddles - well, more like ponds - all over the backyard yesterday. there were washed out streets and floods all over our city.

i was hoping for the snow so that the kids and i could go sledding together for the 2nd time this year. the first was tuesday afternoon. by the time we left the hill, there were more patches of grass on that hill than there was snow ..... wasn't exactly the "sledding kind of snowfall". it was one that had we had several snow storms prior to that, and enjoyed loads of sledding, we would have completely ignored the pathetic 2 inches that fell. but desperate times call for desperate measures ..... we *needed to sled* so we went in hopes that we'd get some good runs in before the snow was all gone. we were able to hang for about 90 minutes. not bad, but tricky keeping the snow under us as it washed away with each run.

i don't even ski. my kids snowboard, but for me to be wishing for snow, and wanting to have some winter wonderland is SO out of character for me. don't get me wrong, love the snow - always have - the beauty, the smell, the fun you can have in it. but for me now is the sheer exhilaration of watching your kids have the freedom and the delight with the journey donw that hill! it's the snowman on the front lawn, it's the paw prints from the dogs joining the family snowball fight out front. it's the pelasure that snow brings. the red cheeks, the snuggle under the blanket afterwards, the shouts of glee as they decend the hill on board, or sled.

i love to see the freedom in their faces, and feel the joy they capture. i love the excitement in their step as we march to the hill. i love the whole picture ......

so, spring brings that too. they can be outside and play and find new things, and explore, and build forts, and seek treasures, and enjoy the freedom of the outdoors for hours instead of just moments in the blustery wind of winter (when you're not sledding, the winter just seems *cold* on your face, and it's hard to play outside in that, isn't it?)

that's why i am feeling springy today. time to move forward and bring on the new stage.

so, enjoy your weekend .... and i hope for whatever you're wishing for coming your way .....

did you ever ......

drive past an exit that you were supposed to take, and just keep driving for, oh, 3 miles, before you clued in to the "d'oh" moment?

go to a completely wrong hospital in a completely wrong city, and not realize it until you saw the sign on the building that you weren't where you intended to be?

forget to email a really important document that was highlighted and ** 'd in your calendar?

.... and did all of this in just two days timespan?

{sigh}

me thinks me is thinking too much.

dh tells me when i call him this morning (at the wrong hospital when i left the house at 6:00AM) that there *might* be something wrong with his wife. perhaps she is beginning to show signs of deterioration and the only remedy is a long, warm, relaxing vacation somewhere far away. he says "uhm, yeah, there *might* be something wrong with my wife - is this the first you've noticed it?" funny guy, isn't he? :o) but then he says, " no, there is nothing wrong you're just thinking and using your head too much, you're worried about everything and everyone"

i think he might be right. again.

time to jump on one foot, and shake my head to the side and dispense any unnecesary information that's tied up in my brain.

i'm running out of room in there for the really important things -

like which exit to take to get to the airport to fly away to a secluded island with my family on vacation. (don't i wish ..... )

:o)

winter break = school vacation

who really gets the break?

{sigh} 'cause let me tell ya, school vacation was NOT invented for the moms of the world. especially february vacation - what's the philosophy behind it again?

reality though, in all, a great week, really it was.

it was fun.

filled.

and fancy free.

the kids had a ball. literally. Cam had a baseball clinic - indoor baseball for 6 hours a day for 5 days - straight. he was in his glory.

K-gal had an art camp 3 of the days for 4.5 hours. she really enjoyed that. and the other two days, full playdates with girlfriends. yeah, playin' and just breathin'. that's what these two squirts did.

the week was kick started with a hockey tournament and a gymnastics meet, last weekend - and seeing as I have tons of hockey snaps, and the meets are so few and far between (so far, anyway) here's a few of the little lady from last sunday ....

warm ups with her compadres ... she has a serious "game face" on, doesn't she?

cheesy grins just before they march out for the start of the event

----> a 'bestest friend' from school and gymnastics (nursing a wound on her chinny-chin-chin)

unfortunately, they don't allow flash photog during the events (fear of safety for the athletes on the balance beam with the flashes) so, my pix are limited during the events, and honestly, they are never sharp enough - gotta work on that.

but the meet was a blast - I was part of the head table where all the scores come in, and we record them, and write out the ribbons, and fill the envelopes for each athlete. it's quite an honor to be asked to do that, not only do you get to be at the head table, you get a KILLER view that isn't obstructed for any of the events! she did really well, too! so many people complimented her on the terrific job she did, and that felt so darn good to her ..... :o) so proud of my little lady.

the end of the week (this weekend) we have a house guest. he's a neighbor, and he is so stinking cute. check him out - his name is Sam, and his family is out of town for 2 days, and we get to baby- erm, doggiesit.

kids are thrilled ... they love him, he's 8 months old, and really funny with loads of energy ..... he also has the most unbelievable underbite I have ever seen on a dog. dad calls him 'UB' and he just makes you smile looking at him ..... you can kind of see the lower jaw in the photo on the right ..... hysterical.

however, the *other* four legged inhabitants of this house aren't so thrilled with the visitor. well, that's not entirely true. Cleo, the crazed cocker of ours is the one with the issue of a houseguest. Murphy could care less .... more warmth to lay with is what he's thinking .... good old boy. :o)

check this out, though, do the looks on their faces say - "spoiled" or what? maybe just worn out the old geezers ... Sam keeps 'em running!

at any rate, have a great weekend ..... two hockey games, and a baseball banquet/dinner for the dh this weekend. off to early bed.

g'night!

perspective

as i moved around some of the blogs that i read here, i noticed and incredible theme in each of them lately ... all the authors are gaining and *keeping* perspective. each one, in a different area of life, i.e. kids grown, newborns, grandparents themselves,working moms, sahm's, photographers, artists .. you name it! but every last one has, in the past two weeks, posted about "keeping it real" - staying grounded, breathing WITH the people they love.

and i wondered if v-day had any significant impact on that perspective ..... it wasn't a catalyst for me. i had my paradigm shift about 2 years ago. left an insanely overwhelming management career at a poorly run company where i had zero - zilch,nada - perspective. no balance, and little self satisfaction. so, i gained perspective - not magically, nor overnight. i just put my mind to it, and reversed the bleeding. i left that downward spiral, and fleed to a sunrise - the career path i have is a blessing. i not only KNOW what's important, i prioritize that importance. nothing - zilch, nada - gets in the way of the priority of my family. i drink in my children's voices, smiles, facial expressions, and features. i speak to them, and chatter with them to get inside thier heads, and let them inside mine. i hold them, and touch them to let them know it is always okay to be near someone you love. i hold thier dad because he is my best friend. i share me with them, and allow them the opportunity to share their heart, their soul with me. i let them know they will always be safe with me. i tell them all everyday how much i love them.

so, feeling this - and living this way for over two years - i am humbled by those that are discovering this for themselves now. i am giddy with excitement for the people that are finally breathing that comfortable breath of air. i am at peace knowing that they too will be achieving a more settled feeling in their souls.

so, tonight, in my email box, I find this - a wonderful little quote from Anna Quindlen. terrific. fabulous.

and SUCH perspective.

and with this read, i needed to reconsider all that i have changed these two years, and refresh what i look at. because we can always understand more deeply why we do this -

i will live in the moment for the next week, no matter the moment.

breathe, folks. breathe.


Anna Quindlen, Newsweek Columnist and Author

All my babies are gone now.
I say this not in sorrow but in disbelief.

I take great satisfaction in what I have today: three almost-adults, two taller than I am, one closing in fast. Three people who read the same books I do and have learned not to be afraid of disagreeing with me in their opinion of them, who sometimes tell vulgar jokes that make me laugh until I choke and cry, who need razor blades and shower gel and privacy, who want to keep their doors closed more than I like. Who, miraculously, go to the bathroom, zip up their jackets and move food from plate to mouth all by themselves.
Like the trick soap I bought for the bathroom with a rubber ducky at its center, the baby is buried deep within each, barely discernible except through the unreliable haze of the past.

Everything in all the books I once poured over is finished for me now. Penelope Leach., T. Berry Brazelton., Dr. Spock. The ones on sibling rivalry and sleeping through the night and early-childhood education, all grown obsolete. Along with Goodnight Moon and Where the Wild Things Are, they are battered, spotted, well used. But I suspect that if you flipped the pages dust would rise like memories. What those books taught me, finally, and what the women on the playground taught me, and the well-meaning relations --what they taught me, was that they couldn't really teach me very much at all.

Raising children is presented at first as a true-false test, then becomes multiple choice, until finally, far along, you realize that it is an endless essay. No one knows anything. One child responds well to positive reinforcement, another can be managed only with a stern voice and a timeout.

One child is toilet trained at 3, his sibling at 2. When my first child was born, parents were told to put baby to bed on his belly so that he would not choke on his own spit-up. By the time my last arrived, babies were put down on their backs because of research on sudden infant death syndrome.

To a new parent this ever-shifting certainty is terrifying, and then soothing. Eventually you must learn to trust yourself. Eventually the research will follow.

I remember 15 years ago poring over one of Dr. Brazelton's wonderful books on child development, in which he describes three different sorts of infants: average, quiet,and active. I was looking for a sub-quiet codicil for an 18-month old who did not walk. Was there something wrong with his fat little legs? Was there something wrong with his tiny little mind? Was he developmentally delayed, physically challenged?

Was I insane? Last year he went to China . Next year he goes to college. He can talk just fine. He can walk, too.

Every part of raising children is humbling, too. Believe me, mistakes were made. They have all been enshrined in the, "Remember-When- Mom-Did Hall of Fame." The outbursts, the temper tantrums, the bad language, mine, not theirs. The times the baby fell off the bed. The times I arrived late for preschool pickup. The nightmare sleepover. The horrible summer camp. The day when the youngest came barreling out of the classroom with a 98 on her geography test, and I responded,"What did you get wrong?". (She insisted I include that.) The time I ordered food at the McDonald's drive-through speaker and then drove away without picking it up from the window. (They all insisted I include that.) I did not allow them to watch the Simpsons for the first two seasons. What was I thinking?


But the biggest mistake I made is the one that most of us make while doing this. I did not live in the moment enough. This is particularly clear now that the moment is gone, captured only in photographs. There is one picture of the three of them, sitting in the grass on a quilt in the shadow of the swing set on a summer day, ages 6, 4 and 1. And I wish I could remember what we ate, and what we talked about, and how they sounded, and how they looked when they slept that night.

I wish I had not been in such a hurry to get on to the next thing: dinner, bath, book, bed. I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less.

Even today I'm not sure what worked and what didn't, what was me and what was simply life.

When they were very small, I suppose I thought someday they would become who they were because of what I'd done. Now I suspect they simply grew into their true selves because they demanded in a thousand ways that I back off and let them be. The books said to be relaxed and I was often tense, matter-of-fact and I was sometimes over the top.

And look how it all turned out. I wound up with the three people I like best in the world, who have done more than anyone to excavate my essential humanity. That's what the books never told me. I was bound and determined to learn from the experts.

It just took me a while to figure out who the experts were.

Murphy update

just popping in here for a split second to give good news before we're off an running to a hockey rink and gymnastics meet ove the next two days ....

Murphy seemingly is improving - again. i am cautious, and worried, still.

but the limping, and more importantly the wimpering when he sleeps, has subsided. he's had aspirin 2 days and by all appearances, it's working. :O)

all the good thoughts, and kind words are working - thank you from the bottom of my heart .....

enjoy your weekend.

ice ice, baby.

oh, yeah .... we are frozen. icy like a river in michian in the middle of winter.

brrrrrrr .....

i took some random shots of our ice/deep freeze that we have going on this morning, and thought they were kinda cool ..... i see so many picture opps all around - and i am just biting at the chance to take 'em. not always convenient to *take* them, however, the first step is noticing, right?

so anyway, here they are:

an art piece from nature. :o) Cam called this his dolphin. neat huh?

this is the fasteners to the pool cover all frozen to the deck. i loved the contrast --->

the brick ice path ....

and finally, one of the many, many bare trees with the crystal blue sky behind it.

beautiful winter in New England .... just darn cold. :o)

HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND ALL !

hearts. almost snow. injury update.

yep, all of that.

Happy Valentine's Day. i am not a big celebrator of this 'holiday' - it's a day to recognize the love you share with others, and they so graciously share with you. presents are nice. totally unnecessary, in my opinion. however, they are appreciated, and kind - especially the ones that aren't eaten or die within a day or two. i am of the variety that flowers received on any old day of the week, for reasons conjured up by the lover, not representing any particular date, are far more appealing. and typically sweet treasures that are homemade are the chosen treasures here.


so i got a few of those - 8 year old, and 6 year old creations. yummy! i even got some lovely cards, one with the most wonderful words from dh. he is such a dreamboat! :) we work so well together ... not just our fantastic union, but our bond. we are connected in a place, on a level that is indescribable. i am so fortunate to have him, and to have the opportunity to love him. and to add to that love two little creatures that ooze the delicious blending of our hearts .... ah, bliss!


we made our valentine's for the classmates on Monday evening, and it was really fun ..... take a look at the progress:

beginning to piece it together with stamps, and foam, and coloring .....

and then some final touches, and LOOK! a sweet little card that was homemade by the little K gal ..... :O)


the C-man's are a wee bit less fussy - but still, made with all kinds of love! i also heard that there were several compliments handed out at school for the "creative, and original" Valentine's they passed out! cool, huh?



in other news -



certainly most of you heard about the big hullabaloo regarding the snow storm heading our way last night. we were alledgedly getting anywhere from 1-6 inches.



we got 1.



at most.



pfttttt.



rained the rest of the day, made driving icky, and canceled things like hockey practice, and gymnastics. honestly, don't know why. only thing i can think of is because folks didn't want to have moms and dads and kids out driving later in case the temos dropped dramatically, and caused icy conditions. i guess.

i am still a wee bit irritated from the lack of snow we've had.

i would like a snow storm, complete with a snow day for my kids. sledding. cold, running noses, laughing, exhaustion, wet faces, and chilly toes. come in, undress, and curl up to the fire with a blanket, a cup of hot tea, and watch a movie with the fire crackling next to you.

yeah, that's what i want. :o)

and finally, my Murphy. he is not doing well. :O( he has started progressively limping, and it's getting worse instead of better. i am planning a call to the vet tomorrow, and some more tlc tonight. my main squeeze is hurting. he has been next to me all.day.long. whining while he sleeps, and barely moving from his beds (we have a few in the house for him)

so think of him, and send some good wishes our way if you have any to spare. he needs them. i hate to see him suffer, and i won't allow it to continue.

that hurts the most, to be honest. my fella. :o(

well, here i am

another week has passed, and life ticks on and on .... {sigh} where does it all go?


i am feeling like i am getting several things done, and working hard, playing hard, and accomplishing some things .... but i sit and wonder what to write about it all.



so, i will randomly chatter here .... and hopefully, connect the dots from last week to this, and see where it "all went".

* Murphy is seemingly doing a bit better. the wimpering has subsided for the most part - he is still doing it on occasion, but it appears to be in a deep sleep stage. dreaming? deeper pain that i don't fully understand? i dunno. his limping is sooooo much better, almost non-existent. he is spending an awful lot of time in the house with me. it's been awfully cold so i need to keep him in anyway. but he is especially clingy to me. moreso than normal, but i don't mind. he is such a lovebug. :O) thanks for the kind wishes - it appears he is better. i told the vet all of this, and he seems to think it was a passing painful boo boo related to the nail that was broken. poor guy.



* jumped back into the work thing, and saw loads of customers last week. also saw the boss for a performance review. a very good one, for sure. feeling like i have had a good year, and saw some sweet success, and he does too. that was nice. hate the judgement of the dang things though. hoping to see another good one this year .... working on that for sure!



* traveled to Maine over the latter part of the week. worked in a small hospital that had some strange characters in the department (anesthesia dept that is) but just the same, had some good success with the capital devices there.



* hubby traveled northward to spend the night there, but before we saw all his pals, we ventured to meet the newest additions of one of the couples -TWINS! so stinking cute they are, and man are they wearing out their parents ..... only 8 weeks old, but 4 weeks adjusted age, so they are still quite new. mom and dad are spent. wish we lived closer, would be visiting and relieving far more often. {swoon - baby smell}



* watched a pond hockey game for the first time ever in my life. and my kid was a participant. that was way cool. i was a wee bit shaky walking on ice .... weird feeling that is. weird. but the day was really fun (uhm, no camera. d'oh!) k gal was there too, and she enjoyed it thoroughly!



* little man was hurt in practice - not awful, but it was his neck, so that was a scary thing. :O( he seems fine, just stiff today. appears to be all muscular. thankfully!


* later sunday went to the coach's house who has an outdoor rink there, and took these shots:





the threesome from C's team - the "99ers" I have spoken of, and the big sister of one of them. C's a *big* fan~!

the little sisters..... so stinking cute, huh?

* my nephew, my godson turned 16 on sat and i am still in awe. unreal. i remember the day he was born, and the phone call. man, was that yesterday!

* made a delicious beef stew today for dinner tonight. one of my goals for the year (not a resolution, don't like that word so much) is to cook more here, and less eating out. been very very good. enjoying the cooking too. perhaps a treat for me will be a new cookbook.

* worked my way out of a fave pair of jeans .... yep, the RIGHT way though. they are entirely too big. :O) THAT was another goal for the year - continue with the healthy eating, and gym going 5-6 days a week. i have four or five more pants that are entirely too big at this point, and i am worried that i will be needing a new wardrobe (or a fabuloso seamstress!)

* snow is coming! heard that wednesday we are in line for a nice little snowstorm ..... here's hoping they AREN'T wrong. :O) yay!

i think that's about all the things that have been going on ... will try and get here more to scratch the words down.

valentine's to be made tomorrow .... so pictures will follow!

cheers, and thanks for being here ...... :o)

February FREEZE!

It is cold outside .... as in 10 degrees at the bus stop this morning! yikers!


still very little snow, and that makes me sad, sad, sad. it's winter, and new england has glorious winters usually. i like snow. i do. i like the fun it provides my kids. i like the feeling it brings to adults that enjoy it. i like the way it changes the scenery you look at once it falls. i like the way people feel when it falls. i like the serenity after a snow fall. i like the peace, and the quiet, and the crisp white smell of it. and i love the way it changes the way you look at your home, your yard, and the earth covered in it. it's peaceful. it's cleansing. and i think we are getting whacked with global warming. :o( i read an article at the gym today that highlighted the changes with home owners insurance for east coasters - they are jacking up premiums (as in WAY up) due to the increased events of natural disasters. the risk we are as a group of folks living so close to the epicenters, as well as the ocean. and the likely cause being global warming. we have had a mild winter, and hot as ever summers the last few, and both of those things make me sad.


i want it to snow in the winter. i want it to be hot in the summer, but not unbearable. i'd love it is we could see some several inches of snow each weekend, play in it, throw snowballs at each other, and just enjoy the weather like we did when i was a kid (anyone remember the blizzard of '78 like i do?!)

but instead of snow, we have blustery wind, with temps in the teens ... therefore the windchill is in the minuses. brrrrrr. ick. kiddies freeze with red cheeks, and frozen fingers .... but the boys on the street still find a way to bare the cold to shoot pucks, and shoot hoops, and just run outside. it isn't long, for sure, but it gives me a great excuse to brew some yummy hot chocolate when they come in. :o) so we make the most of it, anyway.


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in other news, had a trip to the vet this weekend ..... :o( the big fella, my 9 year old lovebug of a chocolate lab woke up last tues with a terrible limp on his left front paw. he didn't improve too much, and didn't decline either, but it was clearly paining him, so i called on thursday and they got me in for first thing sat morn. he was due for his annual exam as well, as was the little monster cocker spaniel. so we did a twofer (or is that a threefer?) and chatted with the vet about my fella. :o(


best case scenario he told me was an injured toenail (which they discovered whilst clipping them - how'd i miss that in the three hundred times i palpated his leg, shoulder, spine, ankle, elbow, and fingers?) next case scenario was an old injury to his wrist that he has now developed arthritis in, and worst case - osteosarcoma. yes, bone cancer. a death sentence for a canine with it's inability to accept any treatment, or cure once it has metasicized - and inevitably it does in canines - so, he said that it's not likely, but it is an outside possibility. and he had to tell me.


i was crushed. wham. a hammer to my heart. murphy is my babe. my first babe. a big guy that found his way into my heart, and speaks to my soul. i have had many dogs, and each of them are very special. murphy exceeds that quality. he is by far the gentlest, kindest, sweetest dog i have ever had or known. s and i have only known our married lives with him. we got him when we were married only 4 months. we have birthday parties for him. we love him like a child. s spoiled him the most initially, taking him everyday to work with him, and keeping him entertained and allowing him to entertain others. he was a rock star very early on. for two years, the vet has discussed with me the conversation i need to be having with the kids about murph's departure - inevitable departure - from our lives. i've begun it, painfully, and unwillingly. i hope it happens years from now, not months.


so, we need to report back to the vet how he is walking (much better today, very little limping) and also if the whimpering has stopped while he lays down (it hasn't). he asked me to call him back on saturday to report to him the progress, and we can better lay out a plan for the sweetpea.


i am so sad to be in this position at all. i know it happens. i've had two of my own dogs in my lifetime, and they've passed. my family has had closer to 10 that have passed, so i've done the drill. i hate this drill. :o( you never are quite the same after the dog passes on. they really do feel like family members.


other than that, hockey was leaps and bounds better than the NY trip. c had 2 goals, and an assist, as well as 2 penalties. he played really well, as did the entire team. most importantly, above all else, the refs were SO much better. they were fair, and kept comlete control of the game. {sigh of relief}

we have another gymnastics meet (the first one i will see this year!) in two weeks, so she is working hard with that. piano concert has a date, according to the teacher, miss stephanie - june - so we'll be working on that too.

baseball signups are done, tryouts in march. batting cage (yes, batting CAGE) will be installed end of feb in the backyard. (s'pose that's a benefit of being married to a sporting goods salesman, right?) but c and s have a fantastic fundraising activity planned for that cage to benefit ALS for the summer months .... details on that soon! :) so proud of my guys .... k and i will be support gals, for sure!

so with that (all of that), i end today. all of your good thoughts would be much appreciated for my murph-inator ..... i'm remaining positive, and of course, strong to the best of my ability. it isn't easy yo think about, but knowing that he has been a dear friend of ours already for 9 years, i know that we are lucky. very lucky.

have a good monday evening ......