uhm. hi!

yeah .... not such a great bloggie gal, lately. lots happening. lots a brewin' . just way short on time.
methinks an update is due ... and methinks it will be in the next few days ....

until then. k?

7 days

it's been since my last post. wow, what a week!
i was in mexico from last sunday (the 25th of Jan) through thurs the 29th. it was work related, and there was a little bit of fun involved. i crossed off another item on my bucket list while i was there ..... i ziplined over the jungle. the 'over the jungle' part wasn't necessarily part of the item, but that was a bonus as well, the only way it was happening there. :) that was a BLAST!

the meeting was good - energizing, revitalizing, and re-focusing. exactly what the company hopes will happen.

so, friday was a catch up day, the evening was wrapped with a hockey game, and today was a five hour marathon of cleaning a very neglected house. right now, i am sitting with my hubby (who by the way was part of said marathon - how 'bout that?) watching the taped bruins game from today - OOOO they just scored! woohoo - 1-0 against the Rangers ..... and enjoying a well earned brewskie.
i've got some stories that have been building up for the last couple of weeks, and will be coming back to document. for now though, i've got a facebook addiction that i need to feed. :)

my "little" girl

she's my flower girl.

she's the one that touches souls, and warms the air

she's the one that never stops chattering

she's the one that laughs, and wraps that laughter around you like a warm blanket

she's the one that fills the space near her with music

she's the one that loves to share

she's the one that offers her help

she's the one that gets the glance

she's the one that holds you tight

she's the one that fills the room with sparkle

she's the one that oozes love

she's the one that you are drawn to

she's the one that sits next to you and writes songs (words, not the music)

she's the one that will collect everything and anything

she's the one that colors the world around her as she breathes the air with you

she's the one that will make you see things with a smile

she's the one that will tenderly hold you if you hurt

she's the one that feels with her whole heart

she's the one that will embrace a stranger

she's the one that will remember everything

she's the one that will make the details

she's the one that will make the mark

she's the one that will change the world

she's the one that will capture the worry and shake it all away .... in her little hands, with her great big heart.

and seal it with a kiss.

twice.

shift it

move it
shake it
roll with it
revel it
draw it
breathe it
wiggle it
grow it
hold it
glory it
focus it
embrace it
enjoy it
excite it
watch it
rock it
hug it
smile it
live it

re-align. re-energize. re-enter.

fridays lead to saturday. and the weekend is so enjoyable.

may your days be filled with love, family, fun and shift.

44

what a day.
what an incredible day.

i hope you feel as lifted, and hopeful as i do.

looking for more of the goodness to unfold, and all the possibility that lies ahead has my spirit in a good, good place.

16 things

that you (and some others) don't know about me. this was a tag on some sites that i visit, and it looked like fun, as well as an exercise in thought. here goes, and consider yourself tagged :)


* i am itching to begin a creative chapter in my life. painting, creating, art! and no excuse why i am not doing it!
* i have a skeletan structure of a book i'd like to write
* i feel like i missed my calling to be a doctor. rather, i didn't listen to the voice in my head
* i am a huge fan of eyes. they speak to me on so mnay levels, and i listen.
* i am also a huge fan of, er, butts. yep, not such a huge secret, but hey, i'm revealing some things
* i am awakened by dreams that involve my kids being hurt - about twice a month
* i feel so much stronger than i was 5 years ago.
* i have no recall of the girl that inhabited my body 10 years ago (pre-kids!)
* i enjoy date nights so much that the guilt of the good feelings (being without my kids for a night) are washed away as i bask in the glory of our couplehood
* i'm going away next week to the mayan riviera, and i don't have the normal guilt that i have had in the past. i'm looking forward to the break
* i would secretly (well, it may not be a REAL secret) love to be a SAHM.
* i am not a fan of darkness. it isn't a fear, it's really a dislike. i hate what could be lurking
* i was a high school cheerleader. for my "brother-school's" (it was a perochial school group) hockey team
* i want to have a financial freedom now. not in retirement, i don't want to wait. now.
* i save things. lots and lots of things. sometimes things that don't have much meaning. except to me. one might say i am a little bit of a packrat. the good news? i am so organized, you'd NEVER know i save things. lots and lots of things.
* we have just been approached with a possible relocation opp (via my job) and i am actually contemplating it!

okay, that was fun. go ahead, play the game.

blanket of white

we've been covered in the white stuff for about a month or so ... and i have to be honest, i am loving it! (not only for the photo opps for the 365 project, but the beauty and the peace that the snow brings to the air) there have been many winters where we had just bitter temps, and ice, and rain. this year, we've got lots of snow. today 6 inches fell, and tomorrow another 3 have been predicted.

it's wonderful fluffy white stuff this time. easy shoveling, i was told. by sean and cameron. and you know what, the little man began the journey of a little business with this snowfall - when you turn 10, you know, you're old enough to venture to your neighbor's and clear away his driveway for him. and a shiny 10 dollar bill awaits you. :) who knew?! and man, what the future holds - "there ARE 10 houses on this street mom!" love this stuff .....

in other news, we had a hockey tournament this weekend, and in all it went well. lots of positives came from it. made it to the semi's and lost in double over time. it was a heartbreaker, and in the end, they completely should NOT have lost at all. they dominated the other team, skated better, and worked their tails off. the shots on net were very lopsided, but the bottom line was the other team put it in the net when it counted. :( cam played very well, had two goals and one assist in the tourney. the team scored a total of 1o goals, so to have a hand in three isn't too shabby. he has been trying to shake this cold, and today seemed to be less coughing, more sneezing, and stuffy nose symptoms. like i said to him, it's a blessing to have tomorrow off from playing hockey - we can lay low, and re-energize for a busy week coming up.

i'm off to cuddle on the couch .... hope your sunday night is warm. :)

cold and +

9 degrees cold.

no, that's not a typo. the last two days have gotten progressively colder. in a word - ouch.

i was in the south for the first three days of the week - the temps there were 85, 82 and 70 for the three days. nice. very, very nice.

the temps wednesday night through today? 10 degrees when i landed. 15 degrees thursday, and 11 degrees, moving downward to 9 degrees today.

it's frickin' cold. and the cold hurts my bones, and my muscles.

so, i thought, with all the icky news of the economy, the bad weather, the cold here, and the general january blues that so many people haggle with, i would start a positive list.

that's right, a "+ list"

join in, add some yummy goodness, and warm up! ;)

+ with all the chilly breezes, we are snuggling even more than normal here
+ cam's hockey team won yesterday - handily 7-1
+ it's friday
+ tomorrow is saturday
+ it's almost 5 o'clock right now
+ my husband is doing the dishes right now
+ my son and hubby are feeling better with each passing day
+ higgins keeps making us laugh our tails off ... several times a day
+ i am catching up with the daily photo (i had a hiccup with the early part of the week)
+ i've got a warm cup of tea coming
+ my family is healthy
+ my kids have had two days off from school this week, and had a pretty good time laughing with each other!
+ my husband organized the year long "need to file" pile while i was away
+ he also just saved us a bunch on new homeowners, and car insurance
+ we're on the other side of the holidays and that means spring is getting closer
+ it's supposed to warm up tomorrow
+ i've gotten to the gym several times this week, and should be able to over the weekend too

that's a good start ... yes?

how about you? what's + right now in your world?

snoggy noses ... and dancing sweatshirts

so the past couple of weeks the sweet man i've married has been sufferering miserably with a nasty cold (and not too loudly, I have to mention ... he is such a trooper, so not a complainer, never has been) and as a result, our wee mr. cameron came down with it. he, as well, is not a complainer, and such a trooper.

but let's face it, he's 10.
and a boy.
and he just needs some TLC.
(or, wait .... is that, ME that needs to GIVE him the TLC because it's my job?)

so, we've been hugging and cuddling, and medicating at night to relieve the cough. the other night, friday night, we were gearing up and packing to go to rochester, ny for a 4 hockey game weekend there, and he was really coughing. i grabbed the dimetapp medicine, the knock you out one that i rarely use unless it's necessary (in truth, i don't use lots of meds with them, or with us, i just don't). he went to bed at 8:00 and at 10:30 he shows up in the office, downstairs, looking in my eye, and this was the conversation.

cam: "mom, i need your help with something"
mom: "okay, what do you need help with, bud?"
c: " okay, everytime i close my eyes, i can't keep it all straight, i have the puck, and i need to get it accross the line, but i don't know if i should use my stick, or the dancing sweatshirts"
me: "uh, okay, tell you what, let's go upstairs and i can try to help you there, you can lay down, and i'll help you"
c: "yeah, that's good mom, c'mon"
we're now upstairs, he's in bed
me: "so, let's close your eyes, and see if you can get back to sleep"
c: " okay, but that's the thing ... when i close my eyes that's when the sweatshirts start dancing"
m: " hmmm ... i can see that." as i stroke his head, and kiss him, i smile at the idea that he'll have no recollection of this.

and i may need to cease using dimetapp. :)

but the truth is, we'll ride this out, and be healthy soon ... likely before daddy is all better, because let's face it, he's 10.
and the energizer bunny.
and a kid.

and when you're surrounded by dancing sweatshirts, clearly you've got a chosen position for health.

long day ... up at 5:59. on the road by 6:30. back on the road by 4:00 ish ... at the really crowded gym for 5:15 (remind me to stay away at that hour, k?) and home to a home cooked meal by my sweets.

now, i am trying to repair my TomTom so i can map out my travels ... and deal with this awful left sided, lower abdominal pain that i've had twice now in 2 weeks. argh.

but look at this: icy branches ..... i love the look of the frozen water, and the feel that it has, but the reality of the weight of that heavy ice on a wee branch is amazing. this tree was in a parking lot in connecticut where i worked today. i was so enjoying the scenery of the ice storm here in the northeast.

and i had p-l-e-n-t-y of time to look at it from the car today ..... :)

(*taken with my blackberry phone camera, so not the best shot, but i left the house without my camera *gasp*)

off to snuggle with my honey.

flexible

a while i'd like to think of myself as a somewhat flexible person, and surely a someone that can roll with the punches most times .... i can also be very rigid, and deeply commited to doing things my way (stop rolling your eyes, sean ....)

i've got an opinion, and if you're within earshot, you should likely hear my side of the story. i tend not to stand headstrong against something i don't wholeheartedly believe in, but i will fight tooth and nail on things i feel strongly about. and although you think your version, or side, of the story is the best version or side to hear, the reality is, i have probably got a decent submission for the better side. really. quite often it's a very good idea or opinion.

in my opinion anyway. heh.

:) :) :) ... i'm being a little silly here, but the truth of the matter is that i need to open this up a little bit - and discuss. i can definitely be ... shall we say, stubborn (!) in needing to express myself. (sean, stop rolling your eyes, and i heard that snarffle) .... and i'm not always the most open minded when it comes to hearing others expression of self, when that particular expression differs greatly from my current opinion.

one of the things i'd like to accomplish this year is the unwavering ability to see it 'through the eyes of another'.

i'd like to pause, and breath in the moment that tells your gutt to question what was just heard or said or expressed in some form. rather than react, just listen better. i pride myself in being a good listener, but what i tend to do, is listen ... then talk. i think i need to listen.

then listen.
then maybe listen.

and not share my thoughts. regardless if i agree, or not. just listen.

i know this will be a bit of a challenging task, and one that will feel quite different at the very least. but i need to try it and see where it takes me. i'm already a very positive person. i see things with all kinds of rosy glasses, and that feels right for me. i don't anticipate that changing .... but the shift to listening might help my rosy glasses expand the view, you know?

i bet the world will open a whole new story book just for me ......

burning questions

so, my bloggie friend, Nichole had a fun game ..... and there are some rules, so here they are:

the first one being a link back to the post where you got the idea. (Okay, so i failed that one right off the bat - I have NO idea how to do that cool link back, anyone anyone? but her site is www.mythoughtfulspot.thinkpad.com) i hope i don't fail any more of these rules. ahem ....

1. If you want to participate, leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."
2. I will respond by emailing five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interveiwed, you will ask them five questions.


Miss Nichole's questions of me:


1. How much tv do you watch? not too much at all, to be honest. i have never been a huge tv watcher. i'd say an hour or two a week - absolute tops.

2. Along those lines, what are your preferred shows when the boob tube is on? "preferred" is the operative word. I would prefer something compelling, something engaging, something entertaining, and something funny. they all don't need to exist simultaneously, of course - compelling: a good feel-good human story, like a child beating cancer, or an adult starting a wonderful charity and it booming into something beyond their imagination. or even a look back at _______ (fill in the blank with the year 2008, or the Beijing Olympics, or the Miracle on Ice story, or some sports dude that faught his tail off to get where he is because no one believed he'd get there, and now he's a stud and grabbed MVP, and formerly Rookie of the Year titles - DUSTIN PEDROIA!) i digress .... engaging: along the same lines as above. entertaining: a good sports event, or even an old movie that i love. funny: Seinfeld, Arrested Development ... and things of that line.

3. Do you do anything that would be considered "crafty?" i'm a pretty crafty kid, to be truthful. i scrapbook, i paint, i draw, i color and decorate, i photograph, i do beading, i make gifts for folks like photo books, and grateful books, and decorations, and always doing kid crafts with my wee squirts. i love creating .... as the youngest child of an architect and interior designer i'd say the gene was a strong one, yes?

4. What are some goals you'd like to accomplish this year? (You knew this one was coming.) oh, there are some good ones that i've outlined:
i'd like to be more accepting, and nurturing of people and their feelings around me
i'd like to gain, and maintain more patience
i'd like to keep my exercise and eating well routine going (it's been a couple of years, and i know anyone can fall frome grace ...)
i'd like to complete the mini triathalon in July and raise some $$ for breast cancer .... and present that check to my friend Tony, in honor of his beloved mom in Sept.
and
i need to improve on my overall sales this year, most especially the capital end work wise. as well, i'd like to advance my career with my company to a whole new level this year ...

5. Do you know any languages? If so, which ones and how did you learn it? If not, are you interested in learning any, which ones, and why? does kid speak count? how about high pitched doggie chatter? baby convo?
okay, seriously .... i took 4 years of French in high school .... i've retained about an ounce of the language at this point, and i regret not keeping up with it.
i think it would behoove me to learn Spanish .... that way i will be able to communicate with the citizens of this country in 15 or so years.
and i've always wanted to learn Italian. i have Italian in my heritage, and am planning to visit Italy (it's on my bucket list) and i'd love to be able to speak that language. additionally, it's so freaking romantic to hear it spoken well .....

that was fun, Ms. N ..... anyone wanna play?

document

one of the words/solutions for me is just that ... document.

i made the valiant attempt last year at the one picture a day, and failed about march. blah. not a great effort to say the least. so this year, i've decided that in order for me to stick to the documenting and taking a picture a day, i need to do a couple of things:

* learn more about my camera

* take a photography class

* write a little something about each picture/day/week/month whatever moves me for that time frame

* enjoy the process

and so, i am. it's day 4 and so far, it's going beautifully.

here's a couple from the last few days

a view in the evening of the family room. i rearranged the mantle after the christmas decor

came down.

the stunning, and fabulously adored newfie pup we are completely in love with, Higgins.

glorious blue sunshine day. bitter cold, and incredibly crisp - but just lovely to photograph!on a chilly morning walk this AM with above mentioned "fluff ball" newfie, we stumbled onto the creek running through the golf course nearby. the water was so cold looking, but the sunshine was so sparkly.

i'm diggin the documenting. :)

milestones

in life there are so many milestones that we reach .... starting at very young ages - first word, first steps, first tooth in and first tooth out, first school days ... and the list, it's a long one, yes?

today, was a day for a big milestone.

i mean b-i-g BIG.


this fella right here?

he turned 10 today. and when i went to his room this morning, this was the conversation:

me: happy birthday, bubbah-looie!
him: thanks, mom. i'm ten.
me: yep, 10. crazy, huh? so what's it all mean?
him: (looking me right in the eye, with that smirk right there, in that picture) double digits! that's what it means!



hello?! double digits. who? not my child.

not the kid i changed diapers,
and rocked all night,
and listened to his breathing,
and marveled at his eyelashes,
and wondered if the colic would end,
and squished his toes,
and snuggled in bed with,
and scooped up to blow rasberries into his belly,
and chased after to tickle,
and laughed until my sides hurt at his two year old antics,
and cried as he ran away from my arms for the first time at 11 months,
and wondered how my heart would ever be mine again,
and held in my arms to do absolutely everything so he could see it at his level,
and cried as he hopped onto the bus for the first time,
and waved to me,
and smiled from ear to ear when he returned that day,

and ... and. {gulp}


10? t.e.n.


i've had hard times with birthdays in my past - when he turned 6, for example. he was no longer the wee one. no longer a little boy - a big boy now. in a real, big boy school. he was no longer a baby. when kendall turned 7 i was a mess - my baby? seven?! 7 and 8 for cam were okay for me, i think because 6 was so rough. then 9 was emotional with him. 10?
ten is aging. 10 is wings flapping. 10 is little man sprouting. 10 is when i start to become less of an impact. less of a consultant on things unless i ask to be. 10 is wings lifting him to the tweens. and that's something i am not fully prepared to be - a tween mom.

so today, i will be the mom of a ten year old.


a double digit kid.

but you know, he's such a great kid. he's such a doll to have as my son. he is someone i want to be around, someone i adore having in my life. someone with whom i am honored to be part of his life, and to allow me to share his life with. he is challenging, yes, he's supposed to be, he's a kid. and at times, i wonder who will "win" in the end - me, of course, yes? ;) but i know i am supposed to be challenged as a mom at times. i am so proud of him, and so in love with him, too. i am so excited for the moments and years, and lifetime ahead for us. and the canvas that is his life right now? it has so much possibility. that is what makes being a mom so very, very cool. the possibility of the things. the opportunity that lies ahead of you, and it's all available to make it your story with your children.

*********************************************
he was quite excited for his tenth birthday, and we wanted to celebrate the kickoff to double digits in the kind of style that would be a memory maker for him for years to come. i love birthdays and always have. i think they should be the kind of thing that you get to celebrate for as long, and as loud as you want. afterall, those around you are celebrating the fact that you were born to this world. something that should be revered as miraculous. :)

we told him he could have a week long celebration starting with last sunday. he received a coolpix digital camera for christmas so he's got some photos of the events as well, and I will surely download those too, as soon as he lets me download them!

the week started off with a sleepover sunday night with a buddy (sadly three others he had invited were all sick, so it was a wee bit smaller than he had expected - perhaps a redo on that one is in order??) then on monday we went to the outdoor ice rink with these two:

afterwards, he had a power skating clinic, and then as an impromptu request was invited to go to a sleepover at one of the player's house. the next morning they all skated (again!) and played all day long at that player's house.

the next day was new year's eve so we all played in the freshly fallen snow, and watched some new movies received from santa because we knew that we would be celebrating the new year in style that night at the neighbor's house - getting to bed at 2:00 AM(egads!)

and then new year's day, after we woke at 10:00 AM (yippee!) he had a family party at home with all the cousins, and family .... so good food, yummy cake, and smiles were all around. he got some more loot, of course.among the loot, he was thrilled beyond compare to receive this from his boy cousins, and auntie leesa: meet Dusty, the hermit crab. lovely, right? just what any household should have ....
that same night, New Year's day, he went to the Bruins game with his dad - but before that would happen, he would have some good laughing with daddy on the couch watching the NHL 2nd annual event on Jan 1 - the outdoor game (played at Wrigley Field in Chicago) - along with his extra special new sweatshirt from mimi with a giant 10 on it.

and finally, as the week hit the climax today, his actual birthday, he requested the coveted trip to Dave & Buster's to add some points to the card that he has been saving and inching towards a "big prize". (have i mentioned i loathe that place? blech. icky, and boo. what's a mom to do, the kid wanted to go, it was his 10th birthday! .... thank goodness sean was with me!)

we hit a great restaurant for lunch after D&B's, and brought chocolate chip cookies with milk for a post-practice treat in honor of his birthday tonight. his teammates (and coaches) loved it!

he's anxious for the actual "friend's" brithday party in February he's planning .... a rock climbing location! woot!

so now .... now, he is peacefully sleeping (not too surprising on that one, yes?!) awaiting his baseball practice and hockey game tomorrow.

*********************************************

alas, ringing in the new year, and a new age for the first born here all in one week - a task that will surely increase with anticipation as the years move onward, in all liklihood, don't you think? ;)

the milestone of aging is one in which we should take hints from 10 year olds:

"mom, this birthday should be a big, huge blowout. it should be the best one yet!"

Happy Birthday, bubba looie.

i love you more today than yesterday .... and around the world and back.

three times.

xoxo mommy

eager

so, as i sit here wondering where to even begin, i decided that the very best place is the notion that we're at the beginning of a beautiful opportunity.

a new year, a new book crisp with fresh smelling untouched pages just waiting .... waiting to be gloriously graced with moments, memories, and snapshots from the lives all around me that touch me, inspire me, and celebrate me.

i will say one thing about 2008, and then i'm moving on. we're going to be peeking into the book that lies before me here - but only peeking to the first page. i've never been one to go beyond that, i don't need to shake the christmas presents early (and you know what i'm talking about!~)

this year was not anything that i had expected - i'm disappointed. but, i've learned so so SO much, and i am really fine with the "let down" because sometimes you need that shake up to realize the goodness in your life.

there, done.

onward - ho!

as has been tradition with me, i write down and post my solutions to the upcoming year.

here's the list for the 2009 365:

Accept
Patience
Determination
Document
Fulfill
Exercise
Think
Love
Rejoice

I decided that rather than detail the daylights out of each solution, i would allow myself only one word per solution. each day will bring a completely new perspective to every word, and every action that is affected from and by the word. as well, each word has application to my personal and professional life.

this year will be the best year i've had in a long long time .... on many, many levels. i am so looking forward to smelling the fresh pages each day i turn them. come along with me, will you?

oh, and yes, i spruced things up a smidge here. kinda fun.

Happy New Year!