swimming upstream

so i mentioned that i am still struggling with some things. i am. we are. sometimes it really does just feel like i am swimming upstream.

i know that life sometimes drops you off dowstream, and says 'yeah, here you are, you can do it, but i'm kinda betting against you. let's see whatcha got, k?' so, with that, there is an opportunity essentially to fight or to fly.

typically, i've been known to fight. i have a mission, afterall, a determination unlike most others. i have drive, and stubborness with a healthy dose of persistence, and i generally find a way to use it. my age, and maturity have guided me to use it wisely, however, i do use it.

lately, the stream is a very strong one. it's also striking when i am tired.

what's the struggle, truly? parenting questions, a 3rd grader that is sad, unsure, and having trouble with processing some things. a hockey player that is feeling controlled, and belittled, and a little man who is working hard to maintain a wonderful, yet fragile, self esteem. a little sister that is asking for time, and understanding from him, and sometimes, in his eyes, demanding things he can't deliver right now.

in a word or two. 3rd grade and turning 9 is a transition. 7 is a struggle. couple all of that with some stress, and unsuredy with a career move with daddy, and you have a high level of angst within the house.

we'll get through it. we will. talking, and discussing, and finding some peace to handle all of it will happen. we are a strong, and very well balanced family of 4 that will find the way to swim up that stream with ease.

we always do.